


I Wait For You, For I Am Broken

by orphan_account



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Cheating, Cute, Drama, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Forbidden Love, Frigga is a drip, Heartbreak, Heartwarming, Hurt/Comfort, Jotun!Loki, Loki Feels, Love, M/M, Mpreg, Natasha Is a Good Bro, Odin's A+ Parenting, Queen!Loki, Romance, Steve is a sweetie, Thor is an ass, Unrequited Love, Wedding Night, Weddings, queen!sif
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-05
Updated: 2013-08-23
Packaged: 2017-12-17 17:39:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 40,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/870183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The love that lasts the longest is the love that can never be, this is what they are told. As far back as Thor can remember he has always loved Loki. But their love is not an easy one; it is all-consuming and dangerous forcing both Gods to choose paths that are not easy to walk. Each God faces their own demons and challenges but will they have done enough to win back those they have lost?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. All I Lost and All I Hoped For

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, first ever multi-chapter fic. Please enjoy, and comment if you want more.

Thor charges about the castle boisterously, laughing as he calls out his brother’s name. 

“Loki? Loki, where are you?” he yells happily, running down the corridor to his brothers chambers. 

One of the guards steps forward and bows at the prince.

“Prince Loki is not in his chambers, sire. He has not been seen since this morn.” 

Thor frowns and pouts slightly before laughing aloud once again.

“Oh! You are good brother!” He shouts, as if Loki could hear him.

(And maybe he could. He was a sorcerer, after all.)

Thor races out of the palace and ran up the hill that overlooks the entire kingdom. He smirks when he notices the long, lean figure of his brother splayed out across the grass. Thor drops to crouch and attempts to surprise the younger prince. Just as Thor is about to pounce there is a loud crack! And Loki has disappeared only to reappear a few metres away. Thor laughs loudly and shakes his head fondly.

“You are most observant, brother.”

Loki does not smile, nor does he turn to face his larger sibling. He lies back down on the soft grass beneath him and closes his eyes with a dark sigh. Thor frowns and crawls closer to Loki. 

“I have been searching for you all day.”

Loki cracks one eye open and glares at his brother.

“Then your hunting skills are somewhat lacking.” He hisses. “I have not been hiding. I have been here in plain sight.” 

Thor looks slightly taken aback before offering his brother a lopsided grin.

“I stole you an extra slice of pie. It is in my chambers if you wish to come visit tonight.” Thor says hopefully.

Loki snorts disdainfully and throws an arm over his eyes.

“Do not hold your breath, Thor. I wish to be alone this evening.”

Thor nods once before getting to his feet, unable to keep the disappointment from his eyes.

“We shall continue with the book tomorrow, then?” he asks softly.

“Perhaps.”

Xox

Loki sits beneath the dark night sky and stares at the golden kingdom spread out beneath his feet. The people of Asgard never liked him, not how they loved Thor. Thor was the special one, the beautiful one, the golden son of Odin. And he, Loki, he was cast aside time after time, worthless, unwanted and unwelcome. He supposed that deep down they had always known; had always sensed that he was not really one of them. Not like Thor.

Xox

Odin looks up from his breakfast plate and notices with a frown that Loki is not present. He glances over at his eldest who is eating with his usual gusto.

“Have you spoken with your brother this morning?” he asks.

Thor tears a chunk of bread in half and begins to dip it into his sweet, milky tea.

“I have not, Father. He wished not to be disturbed.”

Frigga looked at her husband in confusion who, in turn, only shook his head.

“Meet with him after breakfast.” He ordered.

Xox

Loki wakes to the feeling of a hot body being pressed against his side. He opens his eyes slowly and allows himself a small smile when he sees Thor snoozing lightly beside him.

“Move, you oaf, you are deadening my arm.” Loki grumbles teasingly, pushing at the larger man.

Thor cracks an eye open and smiles fondly.

“Father sent me to wake you.”

Loki raises an eyebrow.

“You did a terrible job of it.”

Thor chuckles and rolls over so that Loki can free his arm.

“I brought you some sweet bread and some milk.” 

Loki looks over and rolls his eyes when he sees the small golden tray of goods.

“I am not hungry.”

Thor punches his brother lightly on the chest, a goofy grin on his face.

“Liar.”

Loki smirks and raises himself to his knees.

“Watch who you are calling a liar, son of Odin.” He mutters as he crawls across the bed to reach for the food Thor has brought him. “I only eat this in fear that you may try to wake me like this every morning.”

Thor scrambles forward and wraps an arm around the smaller mans waist.

“I can think of many better ways to wake you, if you would only let me.” He whispers, his lips hot against the side of Lokis neck.

Loki swallows audibly and lets his eyes flutter shut for the briefest of moments. Thor presses his lips to his collarbone and Loki can feel the curve of his smile as he rests there, his breath hot and slightly ticklish. 

“Don’t.” Loki finally snaps, pushing himself out of the embrace.

Thor looks hurt, as usual, and sits back on the bed, his blue eyes unreadable. Loki swallows some of the sweetened bread hastily and turns to face the larger man.

“Do you wish for me to read to you now?” he offers quietly.

Thor nods glumly, his eyes never leaving Lokis.

“Fetch it, then.”

Xox

Thor knows that what he wants is wrong. At least that is what his mother has told him. He knows that Loki can feel it, though. Thor does not look at other men and very rarely at other women. His heart, soul, mind, everything, absolutely everything belongs to Loki. Ever since they were boys Thor had known that he would marry Loki. He could vaguely remember telling his mother as much when he was but 8 centuries old.

“I shall love him forever!” He had vowed, his hand clutching his chest dramatically.

And Frigga had smiled that lovely, warm smile of hers and patted his head fondly.

“That is good. Brothers should always love each other.”

Thor had shaken his head firmly, unable to believe that his mother had misunderstood him so.

“He shall be my wife and we shall rule Asgard together.”

Friggas smile had only faltered slightly before she kissed her eldest son on the forehead.

“Brothers cannot marry, my sweet. But you may rule the kingdom side by side.”

He understands why brothers cannot marry, he can comprehend the reasoning behind it but as he watches Loki read to him and explains the larger words that Thor has difficulty with, he knows that no woman will ever come close to his beautiful sibling.

Xox

Loki sits beneath his old apple tree and watches as Thor and his friends practice their fighting skills. He cannot help but envy Sif and her beautiful curves and dark hair and ability to touch or speak to Thor whatever way she pleases. It burns Loki to turn Thor away. It physically hurts him but he knows of the repercussions, especially since he has realized that he is not of Asgardian blood. Odin may love him enough to allow him to resume his role as Prince of Asgard but he would not look at all kindly upon any sort of relationship blossoming between him and his eldest son.

“You never fight.” Fandral calls out as he approaches Loki. “You sit and you stare but not once have you tried to join in.”

Loki eyes the warrior with obvious distaste and heaves a dramatic sigh.

“It is my courtyard, is it not? Have I not the right to be here?”

Fandral shrugs and smiles disarmingly.

“A lot more right than I, my prince. I only wonder if you wish to join us?” he offers.

Loki looks over at Thor who is smiling at him encouragingly.

“You can fight me, brother. It has been far too long since you have challenged me.” 

Loki shakes his head and looks away.

“Perhaps another day.” He mumbles politely.

Fandral sniggers and bows at Loki mockingly.

“Ah, but of course my brave prince.”

In the blink of an eye Loki has Fandral pinned to the ground by some invisible force and writhing in agony. 

“Please! Please, forgive me!” He shrieks, thrashing about like a fish brought to land.

Thor runs over to Loki and shakes him pleadingly. 

“Loki, please, he did not mean it.” Thor begs, his large hand cupping Lokis face.

Loki turns to look at Thor and Fandrals shrieking stops. Thor stares right back into those emerald eyes and suddenly both men feel quite lost. Loki breaks free of his grip and takes a step back.

“Do not mock your prince.” He spits at Fandral before stalking off across the courtyard.

Fandral whimpers and pushes himself to his knees.

“I understand now why we do not ask him to fight with us.”

Xox

All his life Loki has been mocked and ridiculed, all his life he has been treated as the runt, the unworthy son.

“Why did you not tell me sooner?” Loki asks Odin as they both watch the Tesseract.

Odin sighs heavily and regards Loki with his good eye.

“Because I wanted to protect you.”

Xox

“Loki is not himself recently.” Thor informs Sif as they walk around the vast palace grounds. “He is distant and unhappy and most difficult.”

Sif raises an eyebrow and smiles at Thor sympathetically.

“Is that not Loki when he is indeed himself?” she teases.

Thor chuckles softly and shakes his head.

“Nay. My brother is a most beautiful person when he is given the chance to be himself.” Thor says fondly.

Sif pats him on the shoulder and smiles up at him adoringly.

“I fear that perhaps, you may only see the good in a person and ignore the bad?”

Thor frowns and looks down at his friend uncertainly.

“And perhaps you have misjudged my brother, for you hardly know him!” 

Sif removes her hand and shrugs her shoulders calmly.

“I know, Loki, Thor. Perhaps not as intimately as you but-”

“And what does that mean?” Thor snarls. “What are you implying?”

Sif looks at Thor in shock and shakes her head.

“It means not a thing, just that Loki is your brother and therefore you must know him better than I!” She exclaimed.

Thor takes a step back and glowers at the woman before him.

“I shall retire to my chambers now, Sif. Good evening.”

Xox

There had been a time when Thor and Loki would share their beds. Each night they would alternate between each bedroom, pulling the covers up over their heads and telling each other their deepest, darkest secrets.

“I want to marry you.” Thor had told Loki one evening.

Little Lokis eyes had widened with glee and a smile had spread across his face, so wide that nearly every tooth was on show.

“Do you mean that?” he had breathed, his emerald eyes sparkling.

“Aye, of course I do. You are my best friend and I love you.” Thor had promised.

Loki grabbed his older brothers hand and squeezed tightly, his cheeks slightly flushed.

“You are mine also and I love you more than you could imagine.”

Xox

“Do you love me, Loki?” Thor asks as he lies in Lokis bed, staring up at the marble ceiling above him.

Loki does not look up from his book and murmurs something in reply. Thor smiles and pushes him playfully with his foot.

“Tell me; do you love me?” he demands

Loki looks up and offers the golden god a small smile.

“You know that I do.” He says softly.

Thor nodded thoughtfully.

“That is what I thought. Do you think Father would understand if we-”

“No.” Loki says quickly, his eyes darkening. “He would not and he would not be the only one either. You are my brother, Thor. You cannot love me like a wife.”

Thor half-smiled and nudged Loki with his foot once more.

“And why not? We are gods, princes, Loki. We may do as we please.”

“It is wrong.”

Loki looks at Thor with a deep sadness in his eyes. Thor rolls onto his knees and crawls across the bed to Loki. Loki holds his gaze and he does not flinch when Thor lightly brushes his lips against Lokis.

“To them it may be wrong, brother, but for us it is right. You are my soulmate.” Thor whispers against Lokis mouth.

Loki frowns and gently pushes Thor away.

“Do not, brother. I do not wish to have this conversation again.”

Xox

“Do you ever wish to do something that others may look upon as ‘wrong’?” Thor asks Fandral as they lay beneath the gentle heat of the Asgardian sun above them.

Fandral turns his head and regards his friend with curious eyes.

“What could you possibly do that is wrong?” he challenges.

Thor shrugs and keeps his eyes closed. 

“There are times where I have impure thoughts, shameful thoughts, regarding another person.” He says quietly.

Fandral snorts and nudges Thor with his shoulder.

“That is normal. Nearly every second thought I have is impure.”

Thor bites his lip and turns his head to smile at his friend.

“That does not make it right, Fandral.”

Fandral raises a hand and waves his comment away.

“What is right and what is wrong, my friend? As long as I do not harm others then I do not see why anyone should have their nose in my business.”

Xox

“I am not of Asgard.” Loki tells his reflection. “I do not possess Aesir beauty, nor the bravery of the Asgardians. I am a Jotun. A monster.”

He watches himself in the mirror carefully. His eyes are like emeralds, his skin is porcelain and his hair is smooth and the deepest shade of black.

“I do not look like a monster.” He says as he touches his face.

His eyes blink at him and Loki sighs.

“But I do not look like a hero either.”

Xox

Thor can remember the first time he kissed Loki. They had been fighting over something ridiculous. Odin had banished Loki to his room, although it had been Thor who had started the argument. Thor had felt guilty and so had brought a tray of cakes to his brothers room as an olive branch. Loki had been pacing about furiously, his brow furrowed and his lips almost white with anger. He had charged at Thor as soon as he had entered the room. But Thor had been too quick for him. He had pinned the slighter god against the wall, their noses touching and Thor had felt an almost magnetic pull dragging his mouth to Lokis. The kiss had taken both of them by surprise but neither pulled away, not until they heard one of the guards knock on the closed bedroom door tentatively. It had broken the kiss but the tension had stayed between them for weeks until Thor had finally found the courage to try it again.

Xox

“Have you lain with anyone, brother?” Thor asks as Loki plaits his damp hair loosely.

Loki raises an eyebrow and continues to fiddle with the blonde hair between his fingers.

“And what business is it of yours?” he says calmly.

Thor throws his head back to smile up at his brother toothily.

“Fandral has bedded most of the maidens in this kingdom.”

Loki snorts.

“So he says.”

Thor chuckles and leans his head against the inside of Lokis thigh.

“I have only been with three in all my centuries.” He admits with a sheepish grin.

Loki laughs and ties the string around the plait.

“And they have given you mighty reviews.” He teases

Thor beams and squares his shoulders with pride.

“They have, haven’t they?”

Loki rolls his eyes and pushes Thor away from him. He stands and begins to slip out of his green tunic, waving his fingers at the bath so that it fills with water.

“Could your head get much bigger, do you think?” he demands as he steps out of his boots.

Thor smiles and begins to dry himself with his towel.

“Your turn, brother. I have been honest with you.” He urges.

Loki bends over so that his dark hair covers his face. 

“One.” He says so quietly that Thor almost does not hear him.

“Who?” Thor demands.

Loki straightens up and raises an eyebrow as he climbs into the bath.

“I did not ask you such personal questions and neither shall I answer yours. It does not matter.” He snaps as he allows the warm water to wash over him.

Thor pulls on his own red tunic and frowns at Loki.

“You could have any maiden in this kingdom. I see the way they look at you. You intrigue them.”

“Because I am different.” Loki sighs bitterly.

“Because you are unlike any other Asgardian. You are unique.” Thor says with such earnestness that it makes Loki’s heart ache.

“They only look at me after you have rebuffed them.” Loki teases.

Thor shakes his head and kneels in order to rest his head on the side of the bath tub.

“They look at you because you are beautiful.” He says softly.

Loki looks into the deep blue eyes and feels as if his heart is swelling.

“Thor…”

Thor plants a chaste kiss to the side of Lokis mouth before jumping to his feet.

“I shall fetch my book, you promised ten pages tonight.”

Xox 

“Mother?”

Frigga looks up from her embroidery and smiles once her eldest son enters the room.

“Yes, my darling?”

Thor approaches his mother uncertainly and kneels at her feet, his blue eyes wide and earnest.

“How do you know when you are in love?” he asks quietly.

Frigga raises her eyebrows in surprise and puts her embroidery down by her side.

“May I ask why?”

Thor shrugs and looks up at his mother with a desperately confused look on his face.

“All my life I have thought that I am in love. Ever since I were a child, I have felt these feelings and yet Fandral tells me that I cannot possibly know what real love is.”

Frigga smiles slight and runs a hand through her sons hair.

“And why is that?”

“Because the person that I love, who I am sure that I am in love with, we have yet to consummate our love. Fandral tells me that until that moment I can never know for sure.” He says with a pained sigh.

Frigga laughs gently and smiles at her rather naïve son.

“Love is not just the physical act of it, my sweet. Love is hard to explain. It is about sacrifice and compromise. It’s about seeing something in someone that you cannot describe, something that binds you to them.”

Thor nods slowly, his confusion clearing.

“Then I am sure of it, Mother; I am in love.”

Frigga smiles widely and cups her sons face.

“Then I wish you all the luck in the world, my beautiful, beautiful boy.”

Xox

Odin sits beside his wife as they eat their supper in a companionable, comfortable silence. Frigga takes a sip of her wine and smiles at her husband over the rim of her goblet. Odin smirks and raises an eyebrow.

“What is it? You have been watching me with a smile since I have sat.”

Frigga giggles and links her arm through her husbands.

“Thor is in love!” she says excitedly.

Odin rolls his eye fondly and shakes his head at his wife.

“With whom? I did not realize he was courting anyone.”

Frigga places her goblet down and shrugs her shoulders dismissively.

“He did not say, but I am certain that it is Lady Sif. He told me that he has loved this person since he were a child.”

Odin smiles slowly and nods approvingly.

“And a fine queen she shall be.”

Xox

“Have you ever known true love?” Thor asks Loki as he polishes Mjolnir.

Loki looks up from his book of spells and smiles at Thor uncertainly.

“Of course I have.”

Thor looks up and watches him carefully.

“How?”

Loki regards his older brother curiously and offers him a lopsided smile.

“I truly love you, do I not?”

Xox

“Will I ever become… one of them? A monster?” Loki asks Odin softly as they watch Thor and the Warriors Three wrestle.

Odin sighs wearily and rests a hand on Lokis shoulder.

“I hope not.”

Xox

Sif and Thor race each other around the front of the palace, their care-free laughter infectious. Frigga watches them carefully and cannot keep the smile from her face.

“My boy.” She breathes softly as she watches Thor pick Sif up and spin her around in circles.

“They are a beautiful couple, my Lady.” The maid to her left says with a gentle smile.

Frigga beams and nods in agreement.

“They are, are they not?”

Xox

Thor slips into Lokis room in the dead of night, as he always does. The guards turn a blind eye, as usual and step aside in order to allow Thor entry. He pushes open the heavy oak door and sure enough, Loki is sitting in the bed, alert and waiting.

“You have not brought the book.” Loki points out as Thor enters empty-handed.

Thor shrugs and slips under his brother silken covers.

“I only wish to sleep tonight.” He explains with a yawn.

Loki shrugs and pushes over in order to make space for his brother’s considerable bulk. Thor rolls onto his side in order to watch Loki with his deep blue eyes, a small smile on his lips.

“What?” Loki asks wearily.

Thor shakes his head, his smile only growing wider.

“Thor.” Loki warns.

Thor chuckles and wraps his arm around Lokis bare waist.

“You do not understand how happy you make me.” He says honestly.

Loki closes his eyes and sighs deeply.

“I cannot give you what you want, Thor, what we want. If we cross that line…” 

Thor drops a kiss to Lokis pale shoulder and nods.

“I understand, Loki. I only wish to lay with you.”

Loki smirks and wriggles closer to his brother.

“But that will not keep you satisfied forever. Soon, you will be expected to marry and I do not share well, Thor.”

Thor frowns and runs a hand along Lokis smooth cheek.

“You shall not share me. I am yours Loki, as you are mine. There is only us, nothing else.”


	2. And Still My Heart Beats For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is broken down and he lets Thor see who he really is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh! Thanks for such a wonderful response! I hope this chapter is as good. Again, comments and kudos are epic ;)

Smooth alabaster slowly turns to blue ridges, strange markings and scars decorating his skin. He watches as the deep blue slowly makes his way up his arm, to his heart. Loki takes a step back from the Tesseract as the blue colouring makes it past his elbow. He did not need to know what would become of his heart if he allowed his true nature to break through.

Xox

Frigga watches on as Thor lazily spars with his father, both men laughing and jostling the other. Loki sits to her right, his back straight and his gaze fixed ahead. She casts a sideways glance in his direction and smiles fondly.

“Do you wish to join them?” She asks, as if Loki were still a little boy.

Loki turns to face her, a small smile on his pale lips.

“Father does not know how to fight me. He sees me as delicate.” Loki says softly, a hint of bitterness finding its way through.

Frigga shakes her head and turns her attention back to the match.

“He does not, Loki. However, you must concede that you are a great deal slighter than both your father and your brother?”

Loki frowns, his back straightening even further.

“Of course I concede it. It is all I have ever heard all my life.” Loki says sourly.

Frigga rolls her eyes at her youngest and readjusts her skirts, unwilling to engage with Loki when he was clearly in no humour. Loki leans back in his seat as he watches Thor pin their father to the ground with Mjolnir. Thor laughs loudly and turns to beam at them, his cheeks flushed and his chest heaving. Loki stands and looks away, not bothering to say a word to his mother, and slips out of the arena with hunched shoulders and an aching heart.

Xox

Odin watches as his younger son sits on his own in the banquet hall, despite Thors attempts to make him sit by himself and the Warriors Three. There is a miserable expression on Lokis face, his eyes the deepest shade of green.

“He is desperately unhappy.” Odin sighs.

Frigga links arms with her husband and watches Loki with pity.

“How would you feel if you had been lied to all your life?” she argues.

Odin glares at his wife and shrugs her arm away.

“It was for his own good!” He snaps.

“So you say.”

Xox

There had been a time, not too long ago, when Loki had been happy. Thor, of course, had been a happier child but Loki was content. He would come and go as he pleased; spending his afternoons in the palace gardens reading and sucking on boiled sweets that Thor had bought for him in the local market. He and Thor would race through the fields of corn, their laughter loud, young and care-free. Frigga would watch them play and shriek and sometimes join in. Loki had been so happy. 

Now, he sits alone, chewing on his fingernails, pouring over book after book that would tell him more about his true people.

“Loki?”

Loki slams the book shut and looks up to see Fandral approaching him, a wide smile on his face.

“Do you ever do anything besides read?” he teases. “You will grow plump and soft like a maiden!”

Lokis eyes flash dangerously but Fandrals smile does not falter.

“Do you mind?” He asks, gesturing at the space beside Loki. 

Loki does mind, desperately so but he is also growing tired of his own company. He shrugs his shoulder non-committedly and Fandral throws himself down beside the prince.

“What are you reading?” He inquires as Loki tucks the book behind his back.

“It is inconsequential.” Loki grumbles.

Fandral winks at him and taps the point of his nose.

“One of those Elvish books?” he mocks, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Loki flushes pink and his eyes widen in horror.

“No! No, I do not read such filth!” He snaps.

Fandral shrugs and rests his back against the trunk of the tree twisting above them.

“I have books from Midgard where the women are completely naked. The pictures are large and glossy and-”

“I care not for this conversation.” Loki hisses, his blush deepening.

Fandrals laughs and watches Loki with sparkling eyes.

“You are hardly a prude, Loki, brother of Thor? There is no such thing as a prudish son of Odin!” he exclaims.

Loki closes his eyes and leans his head against the tree. 

“Perhaps you are. Although, with your beauty I can understand it. You must grow weary of people throwing themselves at you.” Fandral says, seriously.

Loki opens his eyes and watches the warrior cautiously, wary that it may be one of Fandrals tricks.

“I can see why Thor protects you with such fierceness. There is delicateness about you that I have never witnessed in a man before.” He states honestly, looking deep into Lokis eyes.

Loki is unsure of who kisses who, but soon their lips are pressed together, their chests almost touching and their hands hang loosely by their sides. Loki knows that he is the one that breaks it. He pulls away from the kiss with a wild look in his eyes. Fandral grins, hops to his feet and bows.

“I must be off, my prince. Your brother is expecting me.” He says with a roguish wink. “We have a wedding to plan!”

Lokis eyes widen.

“A wedding? Whose?”

Fandral laughs at Loki and steps forward to ruffle hair.

“Your brothers of course! Lady Frigga approached Sif, they are soon to betrothed.”

Loki almost thinks he can hear his heart break. Fandral kneels before him and places a gentle kiss to his forehead.

“Wait until your own, my prince. You will the most beautiful groom in all of the Nine Realms!” 

Fandral jumps to his feet and marches across the courtyard, his head held high.

Loki watches him go, scarcely able to comprehend what had just happened.

Xox 

“Does Laufey know that I am here?” 

Odin does not look up from his scrolls. He shrugs a shoulder and continues to scratch away at the parchment with his pen.

“If he does, you will not remain here for much longer. He will claim what is his.” Odin sighs.

Loki frowns and places his book down on the table.

“And you would willingly hand me over?” he demands.

Odin nods wearily.

“There has been too much blood shed, Loki. You are a man now, a prince. You must put your people before yourself.”

“But they are not my people!” Loki explodes, slamming his hands against the table viciously.

Odin looks up and regards his son coolly.

“I will remember that.”

Xox

Thor snuggles in beside Loki and attempts to read the book over his shoulder. He mouths the words as Loki says them, growing more frustrated by each wrong pronunciation. Finally, he grows weary and grabs the book from Lokis hands, flinging it across the room.

“It is futile, I shall never read well.” Thor growls, folding his arms across his chest.

Loki sighs and mimics his brother’s posture.

“Is that such a bad thing? That, for once, the great Thor cannot be the best?”

Thor frowns, clearly hurt and eyes Loki reproachfully.

“You have been in the most foul of tempers of late, brother. Have I done something to offend you?” he demands.

Loki scoffs and shakes his head, the hardness around his eyes slowly softening.

“Of course not. I am weary, that is all.”

Thor smiles and suddenly rolls to the left so that he is straddling Loki. He grins down at the smaller god and Loki cannot help himself when he winds his arms around Thors waist.

“You are ridiculously predictable.” Loki says with a put upon sigh.

Thor chuckles, the sound reverberating around the marble chamber.

“I am like Fandral, I possess a one-track mind.” He purrs as he lowers himself so that he may press his lips against Lokis.

And for once, Loki does not want to fight him. He wants to give in to his most carnal urges and wrap his legs around Thor and never let go, not until he is sated and spent. He wants to show Sif who Thor really belongs to. Thor is more than a little surprised when Loki kisses him back fervently without a hint of shame or hesitancy. Thor breaks the kiss for a moment and puts his hands underneath Lokis tunic, a small smile on his lips. 

“May I?” he whispers.

Loki nods silently.

Thor runs his hands up Lokis smooth abdomen and keeps reaching until he finds Lokis hardening nipples. His gently plays with them between his thumbs and his forefingers, listening to each little hitch of breath that escapes from between Lokis parted lips.

“You are most beautiful.” Thor mumbles as he slips his tongue into Lokis open mouth.

The kiss with their mouths open, their tongues sliding against one another slickly. Loki almost forgets that what they are doing is wrong until there is a loud knock on the door.

“Loki?” Frigga calls.

Loki quickly pushes Thor off of him and kicks back the bed sheets. Thor jumps of the bed with a thump and pulls his boots on, watching Loki desperately.

“What shall we say?” he hisses as the door handle turns.

Loki fixes his hair with one hand and waves the other so that the bed makes itself and a book falls into Thors lap. Frigga steps into the room and frowns in confusion when she sees Thor.

“Thor? It is past midnight, should you not be in your own chambers?” She asks.

Thor opens and closes his mouth like a fish. Loki fights back a smile and answers their mother.

“I was helping Thor with his reading.” He says smoothly.

Frigga’s frown deepens.

“Thor does not require help with his reading.” She argues.

Thor blushes and runs a hand through his tangled hair.

“I do, Mother. Loki has been helping me for months.”

Their mother blinks a few times before nodding.

“Oh. Right. Well. We shall find you a tutor, so that you two may get a proper nights rest. No wonder Loki looks so withdrawn.” She says with a fond smile.

 

Thor turns to stare at Loki in horror, his mouth agape. A tutor? Thor did not need a tutor, he needs Loki. Loki bows slightly, his eyes downcast.

“Thank you.” He simpers. “Although I quite enjoy helping Thor.”

“He is a most wonderful teacher, Mother.” Thor insists.

Frigga smiles at her boys and shakes her head slowly.

“Loki may help you as he pleases, but there will be no more late night sessions. Your coronation will be soon Thor, as well you both know.” She chides.

Lokis back stiffens and he forces himself to keep his attention on the marble floor at his feet. Thor looks extremely uncomfortable and coughs uncertainly.

“Yes. Well. I shall leave you to it.” He mumbles, getting to his feet and exiting Lokis chambers without casting his brother another glance.

Frigga waits until they can no longer hear Thors footsteps before she begins to speak.

“Loki. Look at me.” She orders firmly.

Loki looks up and meets her warm gaze.

“No matter where you come from or who your real parents are, you will always have a place here. You are our son, not by blood but that is only an irrelevant detail. We raised you and we love you, so very much.” She sighs softly.

Loki astutely ignores the way his lower lip trembles.

“B-but I will never be…normal. I will forever be a wolf disguised in sheeps clothing. I only deceive those around me as I parade about in this ridiculous costume!” He spits, gesturing at himself. “And someday people will realize and they will hate me for it.”

Friggas face crumples as she regards her youngest son with genuine sorrow.

“I can only hope that the people of Asgard will love you no matter what shape or form you take.” She says softly before turning on her heel and slipping out of his chambers.

It does not take long for Loki to crash to the floor in a heap, shrieking and bellowing like a harpy, feeling as if his heart is being ripped from his chest.

Xox

Thor watches as Loki shoves his meats and gravy around his plate with disinterest. They had not spoken a word to each other since Frigga had interrupted them that night. It worries Thor. He fears that his mother may indeed know of his corrupted behaviour.

“Loki is most unlike himself.” Sif says softly, her eyes watching the younger prince in concern.

Thor shrugs his great shoulders and pushes away his own dinner plate, very suddenly no longer hungry.

“I shall go speak to him.” Thor mutters as he begins to stand.

“No, let me.” Fandral announces with a wave of his hand. “You smother him so, Thor.”

Thor watches silently as Fandral walks over to Loki and sits much too close for his liking. Volstaag grabs the remaining meats from Thors plate and shakes his head knowingly.

“I fear that you are looking at your future brother-in-law, Thor.” He mocks.

Thor frowns and turns to look at his friend.

“Pardon? I do not understand.” He growls.

Sif places a hand on his arm and forces him to look at her.

“Fandral and Loki, according to Fandral, have been courting for almost two weeks.” She says gently, a small smile on her face.

Thor clenches his fists and glares over at Fandral and sure enough, he could see that his hand was resting on Lokis thigh. Loki, in a typical Loki fashion, did not seem overly interested. He was smiling though and smiling at Fandral of all people. Thor jumps up from the table, shaking Sifs hand away and marches across the banquet hall.

“I wish to speak with my brother.” He all but bellows

Fandrals eyes widen and he nods quickly.

“Yes, yes, of course.” He gasps as he scrambles away.

Sif swiftly makes her way over and puts her hand on Thors chest, an action that does not go unnoticed by Loki. His eyes narrow until they resemble those of a snake. Sif pushes Thor gently, forcing him to take a step back.

“Thor, let us finish our meal. Then you may speak with Loki.” She says softly.

Loki barks out a laugh and makes his way to his feet.

“I did not realize that I had acquired some sort of spokesperson.” He exclaims, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Sif ignores him and continues to watch Thor. Thor does not look at her, he only watches Loki with cerulean blue eyes that look much too watery.

“I wish to speak with Loki now.” He states before shoving Sif out of the way.

Loki nods and follows Thor out of the banquet hall, his heart hammering against his chest. Once they are out of the hall Thor grabs him by the wrist and drags them to his own chambers.

“Thor.” Loki snarls. “You are hurting me!”

Thor throws Loki into his chamber and slams the heavy oak door behind him.

“You and Fandral.” He bellows, his eyes wild and unrecognizable.

Loki does not look at his brother, instead choosing to stare at the bearskin rug beneath his feet.

“Are you and Lady Sif to be married?” he whispers.

Thor opens his mouth to yell but closes it abruptly.

“What?” 

Loki looks back up at him, his face determinately blank.

“Fandral told me. Mother has approached Lady Sif. You are to be betrothed soon enough.”

Thors eyes widen and he shakes his head violently.

“I shall refuse! I do not wish to marry Sif. I wish to marry you.”

Something snaps inside Loki and next thing he is shrieking like a banshee.

“You cannot marry me, you blundering oaf! When will you give up on this ridiculous fantasy? We cannot marry!” he explodes.

Thor takes a step back, his face crumpled with hurt.

“But I love you? In all the Nine Realms, you are the only one for me!” he insists.

Loki clenches his fists and feels something cool wash over him. When he opens his eyes again, they are blood red. Thor howls and takes yet another step back until he is pressed up against the marble wall behind him. Loki smirks, ignoring the tear that is trailing down his ice cold cheek.

“Still? Am I still the only one for you?”

Before Thor can answer, Loki vanishes with a small crack! 

“Loki!”

Xox

Loki reappears in the dudgeon where the Tesseract is kept. His chest is heaving, his heartbeat is much too quick and irregular for his liking and the tears fall quickly and thickly.

“Father!” He yells, racing about the chamber.

It does not take long for Odin to appear, flanked by six guards. Loki starts snarling when he sees the guard’s line up before him.

“They are here for your own protection, Loki.” Odin says calmly, raising a hand to his son. “Be still and there shall be no harm.”

Loki howls, clutching his bare chest in agony. He thinks his heart will stop, stop beating for him.

“You even think of me a monster!” He screams, dropping to his knees.

Odin holds out a mirror to his youngest son, smiling sadly.

“That is because you are one, my beloved son.”


	3. Kiss Me Hard Before You Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and Loki are going down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who reads, comments and gives kudos! It makes me so happy. I know that the chapters are coming quick and fast but I have two weeks holidays and this is just one of those stories that wont leave me be until it's written.

Loki can remember when he was young telling Thor that he felt cold-blooded.

“I am not warm like you, brother.” He had said with a sigh, a small pout on his pale lips.

And Thor had held his hand in his, his blue eyes wide and staring as he nodded excitedly.

“You are cold! Like ice!” he had squealed as he pulled his brother in closer, desperate to keep him warm.

Loki wishes now, as he sits in his cold, empty chambers, that Thor would come and hold him like he used to.

Xox

Thor sits in the throne room, his great arms folded across his chest, his face like stone as he waits for his parents to enter the room. The scenes the night before had been ones he wished to never witness again. Loki had been screaming like some feral beast, his eyes red and his skin a wonderful cobalt blue. He had been shackled and chained as the guards dragged him towards his chambers. Thor will never forget the look on his brother’s face when he noticed Thor watching him. It had been one of shame, hurt and betrayal.

“Why are we having this meeting without Loki?” he demands as soon as the chamber door opens.

His father looks weary and his mother tearful. They slowly make their way towards him and Thor feels irrationally angry and betrayed.

“Well? This had best be good.” He growls, Mjolnir twitching by his side.

Odin eyes him warily and holds a hand up to silence his eldest.

“Loki received an invitation to join us this afternoon. He has obviously seen fit to remain in his chambers and we must respect that.”

Thor laughs loudly and humourlessly.

“That is because you restrained him! You dragged him away in handcuffs, Father! Like some petty criminal!” Thor all but bellows.

Frigga shakes her head in disgust and goes to stand beside her son, placing her hands on his wide shoulders.

“I am not happy about this either, son. Please, do not think for a moment that I support your fathers actions.”

Odin snorts and sits in his throne, an unhappy look on his face.

“Loki was not himself. He was quite hysterical-”

“And could you possibly fault him?” Thor roars.

Odin stands from his seat, his mouth set in a thin line. He points at Thor shaking hands and it is only then that he notices how much his father has really aged.

“You will hold your tongue, Thor, lest you wish to be dragged out of here in handcuffs as well? Loki needed to be protected from himself. I was protecting my son from a situation which he may have regretted.” Odin snaps. “He is a Jotun, a Frost Giant; we would do well to remember that.”

Xox

A whole moon has come and passed before Loki allows himself to vacate his chambers. He is nervous as he pulls his door open. He is unsure of what kind of reception awaits him.

He walks down the hallway towards Thors bedroom when he comes across Sif and Lady Frigga making their way towards the palace gardens. Friggas eyes widen when she sees him and she quickly lets go of Sifs arm, to wrap her long willowy arms around him. Loki does not embrace her; neither does he look at Sif who was watching him carefully.

“You look dreadfully thin.” Frigga chides, eyeing him up and down. “Are you going for a meal?”

Loki shakes his head, keeping his eyes downcast.

“I am going to see Thor.”

Frigga nods and runs a hand through Lokis soft, dark hair.

“Alright. And then you shall join your family for dinner?”

Loki jerks away from her touch and takes a step back.

“My family? No, for my true family have been slain at the hands of warriors like Lady Sif.” Loki hisses before turning on his heel and marching down the marble corridor towards Thors room.

xox

Loki does not knock. He throws the heavy oak door open causing Thor to drop the book in his hands on the floor. His eyes widen when he sees Loki. He jumps from his bed and throws his arms around him, pressing his bearded mouth against Lokis smooth neck. Loki feels all his hostility drain from his body. 

“Loki.” Thor breathes against his skin causing Loki to melt into his touch.

“Close the door.” Loki says softly.

Thor does not need to be told twice. He quickly slams the door shut and bolts it with its heavy lock. There is a tension in the room. It is musky and heavy and it makes both men unsure of themselves. Thor takes a step forward and holds his hand out. Loki slips his hand into his and smiles slightly.

“Did I frighten you?” he asks with a small smirk.

Thor chuckles and shakes his head.

“Aye. But you locking yourself away for so long frightened me more.”

Loki pulls Thor close so that their chests are flush against one another.

“You are to be married soon.” 

Thor tangles his hands in Lokis hair and drops a kiss to his forehead.

“We are no longer brothers of blood. I may marry you if I please.”

Loki throws back his head and laughs a genuine laugh, his eyes filled with happiness.

“You are nothing if not a fool, brother.” He teases.

Thor leans in to kiss Loki when there is a knock on the door.

“It is I, Fandral. Open up.”

Thor growls and goes to open the door. Loki sits down on the bed. Fandral enter the room with his usual swagger, however, he does a double take when he sees Loki watching him. His eyes widen and bows his head in acknowledgement.

“Ah. Prince Loki, I had not realized that you had left your chambers.” He mutters, eyeing Loki uncertainly.

Loki raises one eyebrow and regards Fandral coldly.

“Have your affections waned since the discovery of my true parentage?” Loki demands.

Thors jaw sets and Fandral shakes his head adamantly.

“No! No, not at all. In fact, I was going to ask if I may escort you to your brothers wedding?” Fandral asks quickly.

Loki laughs and stands fluidly, ignoring the pain settling in his chest at the mention of Thors wedding.

“Of course you may.” He says graciously as he slips past the two.

Thor frowns and steps after him.

“Where are you going?” he demands.

Loki shrugs, unable to conceal the hurt on his face.

“For a walk. You have a wedding to plan.”

xox

Sif watches as Loki sits beneath an old, bent apple tree, his eyes closed and his palms turned upwards towards the sky. There is a slightly shimmering green field surrounding him like a protective shield. Sif clears her throat as she comes closer to the prince.

“You know, there is no need for you to protect yourself in your own gardens. There is no one here who wishes to harm you.”

Loki cracks one eye open and offers Sif a lopsided smirk.

“I am no optimist and neither am I in any way foolish, Lady Sif.”

Sif snorts and sits down opposite the shield.

“I am not a lady.” She mutters, pulling at the grass within her reach.

“Yet.” Loki says quietly, unable to keep the venom from his voice.

Sif frowns and cocks her head to the side, her dark hair falling over her shoulders.

“Do you hate me that much? That you cannot bear the idea of me marrying Thor?”

Loki raises an eyebrow and shakes his head.

“I do not care enough about you to hate you. All I know is that you are not royalty.” He says simply.

Sif laughs humourlessly and watches him with stony eyes.

“From what I have heard, either are you.”

Her words are like a physical blow and Loki recoils as though slapped. He looks at her in shock, his protective shield darkening.

“You do not speak to your prince is such a way!” He snarls, leaning forward into a crouch.

Sif mirrors his position and smiles at him.

“You are not my prince. You are no prince of Asgard, Loki Laufeyson.” 

Loki mutters a quick incantation which causes a single green beam to shoot out and hit Sif square in the chest. She squeals slightly as she is thrown back thirty feet. Loki disappears and reappears above her, a shining silver dagger in his hand. He pins Sif down with his invisible force, causing her to look up at him with a panicked expression on her face.

“Do not hurt me.” She warns. “They will banish you, you know they will.”

Loki growls.

“Why? Because you are the future queen?” he hisses.

Sif shakes her head.

“No. Because you are a Jotun and they are only looking for an excuse. Do not be-”

But Sif is cut off as Mjolnir slams into Lokis back, causing him to fly forward and slam against the ground with a great thud. Sif sits up, dazed slightly as Thor lands by her side.

“Are you alright?” He asks.

Sif nods and accepts his hand, allowing him to pull her up.

“He did not hurt me.” She sighs, enjoying the feeling of Thors arms slipping around her waist for a small moment.

Thor nods and darts off after Mjolnir who had Loki pinned to the ground a few hundred feet away. Loki snarls when Thor leans over him.

“Your loyalty is not long forgotten, brother.” He spits.

Thor reaches down and brushes Lokis hair out of his face.

“You cannot hurt my betrothed, Loki. Father would rid you of Asgard without trial.” He sighs.

Loki stops snarling and looks up at Thor with sad eyes.

“And you would let him?”

Thor picks up Mjolnir and offers Loki his hand.

“I would have no choice, Loki, as well you know.”

Loki sits up slowly, cradling Thors hand against his chest. Thor smiles and leans closer until his forehead is nearly touching Lokis.

“Come back to my chambers.” He whispers. “I want to touch you.”

Loki smiles softly before shaking his head.

“Touch her, if you wish to be touched.” He mutters before disappearing with a small pop.

Xox

Frigga fits the veil on Sifs head and beams with pride. Sif really was the epitome of Asgardian beauty. Her dark hair, dark skin and dark eyes would be the perfect contrast to Thors blonde locks and blue eyes.

“You are beautiful.” She says happily.

Sif laughs and watches herself in the mirror before nodding.

“Yes. I am.”

Xox

“You did not try to come and visit me.” Loki sighs as Fandral kisses his neck. “Not once.”

Fandral pulls back for a moment and bites his swollen lips, an unsure look in his eye.

“I did not think that you would wish to see me.” He answers honestly. “And I was scared of what state you would be in. You gave the guards quite the fight.”

Loki smirks and continues to stare at the ceiling above him as Fandral began to unbutton his silk tunic.

“You are so beautiful.” He breathes as he places one hardened nipple in his mouth.

Loki groans in reply and drags his fingers through Fandrals hair. 

“Do not stop.” He gasps as Fandral begins to palm his hardening member through his trousers.

“This reminds me of when we were teenagers.” Fandral giggles. “Getting hot and heavy in the stables once Thor had turned his back for a few moments.”

Loki nods, remembering the summers spent in the hay stacks, hot, sweaty and intimate.

“I’ll never forgive you for sleeping with that maiden.” Loki sighs as Fandral pulls his trousers down.

The scoundrel only laughs and comes back up to place a gentle kiss on the corner of Lokis mouth.

“I was foolish but believe me; I have learned the errors of my ways. You are all that I want.” Fandral whispers.

Loki pats the side of his face gently, a small smile on his pale lips.

“I wish I could return the sentiment, foolish warrior.”

Xox

Thor actually spits out his mead when he notices the love-bite just above Lokis collarbone.

“What is that?” he demands as Loki sits opposite him.

Loki looks down at his plate and raises an eyebrow innocently.

“Veal, brother.”

Thor growls and throws down his knife and fork.

“That is not what I was referring to, as well you know it. What is that mark on your neck?”

Sif looks up from her own meal and smirks slightly when she sees the love-bite. It is just the three of them and for once Loki is pleased that Sif is with them. She is the only one, besides himself, who dares to ask Thor to calm down.

“It is a bruise.” Loki answers calmly as he begins to cut his meat.

“Made by ones mouth!” Thor exclaims in disgust, knocking his empty goblet over dramatically.

Loki sighs and places down his cutlery quietly, his emerald eyes boring into to Thors angrily.

“You own neither me nor my body. What I chose to do with it and with whom, is none of your business. Understood?” he says dangerously.

Thor scoffs and stands from his seat, his lips twisted and eyes darkened considerably.

“It is my business if you choose to let someone paw you like a cheap whore.” He spits before storming out of the room.

Loki stares after him wordlessly, his mouth slightly open. Sif clears her throat and offers Loki a sympathetic smile.

“If it is any comfort, I think that it is wonderful that you and Fandral have rekindled your romance.” She says honestly.

Loki snorts and pushes his plate away angrily.

“I did not ask you for your comfort.” He snaps before stalking out of the room.

Xox

Thor does not open his eyes as he feels Loki slip into the bed beside him. They lay together in silence for a few moments before Thor threads his fingers through Lokis and gives them a soft squeeze.

“When did we become so jaded and bitter?” he whispers.

Loki shrugs and rolls over to face Thor.

“Since you agreed to marry Sif.”

Thor looks hurt and shakes his head.

“You kissed Fandral long before I said yes.”

Loki rolls his eyes and takes his hand away from Thor.

“A kiss is nothing compared to a marriage.” He says simply.

Thor remains silent for a moment and traces the love-bite with his calloused fingers, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Why do you let him brand you?” he asks quietly.

Loki gently pushes his hand away and offers Thor a half smile.

“Because he wants to. It makes him happy.”

Thor frowns deeply and places his hand on Lokis cheek.

“Why will you not make me happy? Why must you fight me at every given opportunity?”

Loki bites his lip and raises one perfectly shaped eyebrow.

“Because I let him fuck me like an animal, there are no feelings, at least not on my side. With you… there is too much, Thor. Too much for us to lose when you marry.”

There is a rumble of thunder outside and Thors face says it all.

“You deserve to be loved, not fucked.” He growls, his fingers twitching, aching for Mjolnir, for destruction.

Loki presses his lips against Thors and allows the strong arms to wrap themselves around his waist. The thunder rumbles on as Thor flips him so that Loki is pinned by his brothers weight. They kiss passionately, tongues sliding together slickly and Loki moans loudly when Thor roughly shoves his hand down his trousers. He strokes his hardening member quickly, his breathing harsh as he pants into Lokis open mouth.

“You are mine, Loki. You promised. When we were children you swore to be mine.” He says thickly.

Loki groans and presses his lips beneath Thors jaw.

“You are to be married, Thor. You have broken the promise.” He mutters against his hot skin.

Thor shakes his head so that his blonde hair tickles Lokis face.

“She will be my queen but you shall be my love.” Thor breathes.

Loki arches his back as he feels the pleasure take over him and he pulls on Thors shoulders, crushing the larger man against him.

“You cannot keep us both, Thor.” He gasps as he spends himself into Thors open palm.

Thor remains silent as a crack of lightening illuminates the room. He ruts against Loki without shame, his nose buried deep in his brother hair. Loki wraps an arm around him and mouths hot, open kisses against his neck. Thor groans loudly and Loki feels him slip his member between Lokis slick thighs. Thor thrusts until he comes silently, his entire body shaking. He collapses on top of Loki, his breath hot and ticklish against Lokis ear.

“I do not wish to share you with Fandral.” Thor admits, his chest still heaving.

Loki runs a hand through his brothers tangled hair and presses a kiss to his temple.

“I know.”

xox

“I am sorry.” Loki tells Frigga quietly as they eat dinner together, mostly in silence. “For this… for being like this.”

Friggas eyes soften as she regards her youngest sadly.

“You cannot help who your parents are.”

Loki shakes his head slowly.

“I have no parents. I have no one to lay claim to as my own.” 

His voice cracks and Loki ducks his head, determined not to cry. Frigga puts down her fork and holds back her own tears.

“I am your mother. You have me, Loki.”

Loki looks back up, his tears slowly spilling down his cheeks.

“I have no one. You have given away the one person who has ever truly loved me. Thanks to you, I have no one.” Loki gasps, standing to his feet shakily.

Frigga frowns in confusion.

“I do not understand.” She admits.

“That is the problem.”

Xox

Fandral frowns when he notices a love-bite above the one he had originally given Loki. He sits back on his heels and glares down at the prince.

“Who else dares to touch you?” he demands.

Loki regards him coolly and flicks his wrist lazily, causing Fandral to be pushed off the side of the bed.

“I am not a possession, Fandral. And you are not the only one I fuck.” He sighs as he sits up and wraps his silken gown around his bare shoulders.

Fandrals blinks at him owlishly before jumping to his feet, an angry look on his face.

“You… you have lain with others whilst you have lain with me?” he snaps.

Loki nods, a bored expression on his face.

“Of course. There are times when I need a distraction and you-”

Loki starts to say but Fandral cuts him off with a loud barking laugh.

“Oh this is good! This is most amusing.” He chuckles. 

Loki eyes narrow.

“What is?” 

Fandral pulls on his boots, shaking his head slowly.

“I should have known he was much too protective for things to be purely platonic.” Fandral grins, a hard look around his eyes. 

Loki gets to his feet and stares down the warrior.

“Stop talking gibberish and spit it out.” He orders.

Fandral smirks and makes his way to the door.

“You can tell Thor that he is more than welcome to his little Jotun whore. You are a frigid, heartless man and it really was like fucking a block of ice.” Fandral hisses before slamming the chamber door shut.

Xox

Loki wraps his arms around Thors neck and moves with him in unison with each thrust.

“Fandral knows.” He gasps.

Thor stops mid-thrust and stares down at his brother.

“Pardon?”

Loki closes his eyes and waits for the storm to rise.

“He knows about us. He knows.”


	4. Unable To Let Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once more, thank you so much for reading! I hope it is going at a pace which you all enjoy. Please continue to read and comment, it makes me so happy!

There is a distant roll of thunder and Loki prepares himself for his brothers wrath. Thor slides off of Loki and lies beside him, his chest slick with sweat and heaving from exertion. 

“What exactly did he say?” he pants, his blue eyes boring into Lokis.

Loki runs a hand through his damp, dark hair and shakes his head.

“He said that you were welcome to me.” He says quietly. “That he had always known that our relationship was not purely platonic.”

A flash of lightening brightens the room for a second and rain begins to pelt against the windows with such force that they rattle in their place. Thor sits up and climbs out of the bed. He pulls on his gold tunic and boots. 

“Get dressed and go back to your own chambers.” He orders as he deftly plaits his hair.

Loki pulls the covers around him tighter and frowns, bolting upright in the bed.

“Where are you going? You said you wished to read this eve.”

Thor sighs loudly and shoots Loki a furious glance.

“Go to your chambers and wait for me there.” He demands as he pulls on his furs. “I am going to speak with Fandral.”

Xox

Loki remains in Thors bed, the heavy animal skins pulled close around his naked body. He watches the door impatiently, awaiting his lovers return.

Xox

Fandral is sitting in his favourite bar in Asgard, knocking back the mead as if it were water. Thor readies himself once he spots him and makes his way across the bar, ignoring the shouts and cheers of the civilians. Fandral does not look up when he sits down beside him.

“Horrible weather we’re having.” He mutters around his goblet.

Thor chuckles lightly and leans closer to Fandral.

“And I am sure you know the reason behind it.” He says softly.

Fandral looks up and catches Thors gaze.

“I meant what I said. He is yours. Have him.” Fandral exclaims bitterly, pushing his drink towards Thor.

The god reaches out and takes a mouthful of his friends mead. He watches him closely before speaking again.

“And you do not find it… shameful?” Thor probes.

Fandral blinks at Thor owlishly and barks out a laugh, shaking his head in disgust.

“You are selfish, Thor Odinson. You are only here to ensure that I do not share your filthy, incestuous secret.” He hisses. “You do not care that you lay with my lover when he was mine.”

Thor shakes his head slowly, offering Fandral a sympathetic look.

“He was never yours to begin with.” He points out gently.

Fandral stares at him for a moment before his eyes widen slightly, a small smirk playing on his lips.

“He has not told you, has he?” he laughs gleefully.

Thor leans closer, his mouth set in a thin line.

“Has not told me what?” he demands.

“That I was his first. He belonged to me long before he started with you.” Fandral announces, taking a final swig from his goblet.

Thors fists clench and there is a rumble of thunder that shakes the entire establishment.

“But if you two wish to fuck like mindless pigs, then you have my blessing.”Fandral continues as he stands. “And I will not tell a soul but not out of loyalty for you, Thor, the man who was supposed to be my closest ally. No. Out of respect for our Jotun, I will not spread a word, because we both know what will happen to him, don’t we?”

Fandral smirks before hacking up phlegm and spitting it right by Thors feet.

“You do not deserve him.” He growls before making his way out of the bar.

A few civilians cast anxious glances Thors way but he does not react. He closes his eyes and listens to the rain pounding itself against the roof, the wind shaking the wooden barn and forces himself to breathe.

Xox

Loki awakes with a jolt as Thor throws open the chamber door, a murderous look on his face.

“Fandral was your first.” He roars, flinging Mjolnir on the floor, causing the marble to crumble and shake.

Loki jumps out of the bed, clutching at a sheet around his middle. He waves the door shut and looks up at Thor fearfully.

“What does it matter? That was nearly a millennia ago!” he argues.

Thor bellows like an animal and grabs Loki by his shoulders, swinging him around so that he is pinned against the wall, helplessly.

“You knew how I felt about you! All along I had sworn my love to you and you chose to lie with my closest friend?” Thor demands viciously.

Loki frowns and tries desperately to wriggle out of his brothers grasp.

“I do not understand why this vexes you so? You were busy bedding one of the farmers daughters!” 

Thor punches the wall behind Lokis head, causing the wall behind him to shake.

“Because you are mine, Loki! And Fandral, he is a worm and he wormed his way into your heart and into your bed! You are nothing but a conquest to him, another notch on his bedpost!” Thor roars.

Loki bites back his scathing remark and places a hand on Thors face, the coolness of his hand instantly calming him.

“It was a millennia ago, Thor. I love you.” He whispers.

Thor leans into his touch and groans as he picks Loki up by his waist, forcing him to wrap his bare legs around Thors middle.

“You do not know what you do to me, Loki. I feel as I am unstable when I am with you.” Thor mutters as he presses his lips against his brothers hungrily.

Loki, surprised as he was, reacts quickly and tangles his fingers in Thors wet hair as his brother crushes him against the wall determinately. His large hands reach around to grab Loki bottom and spread his cheeks. Loki whines as Thor slips two fingers roughly into his hole. He arches his back as he feels the burn, Thor mouthing kisses along his collarbone.

“You are too beautiful for the likes of him.” He gasps as he begins to slide his fingers in and out causing Loki to gasp. “No one else should see you like this.”

Loki nods in agreement and grinds down on Thors fingers, desperate for more. Thor takes the hint and withdraws his fingers. He fumbles with the lace ties of his own trousers and frees his member, pushing into Loki with one fluid movement. Loki squeezes his eyes shut at the feeling and bites back a louder moan, painfully aware of the guard that stands outside. Thor breathes heavily for a moment before beginning to thrust, quick and relentless. 

“No one will love you like I shall.” Thor whispers into Lokis ear. “No one else deserves to.”

Loki laughs and presses his lips against Thors.

“Always so big-headed, brother.” He groans as Thor continues to pound him against the wall.

It does not take long for Thor to finish deep inside him, coming silently as his body shakes, still supporting Loki against the wall. They collapse in a tangle of limbs and half-strewn clothes. Thor sighs as Loki pulls the forgotten sheet around them.

“Loki, promise me that you shall never love another.” He demands as he drags him onto his chest.

Loki smiles up at his brother, his cheeks flushes and his eyes glittering.

“I promise.”

Xox

Frigga watches Loki and Thor from the stands. She smiles to herself as Thor yelps and tries to outrun some of Lokis sorcery. Loki throws back his head and laughs a genuinely happy laugh, clutching at his sides as Thor trips and goes sprawling across the sparring field.

“It is times like this when I am reminded of how young they actually are.” Odin sighs as he sits down beside his wife.

Frigga nods in agreement, feeling privileged to be able to watch her boys in their natural state. It was rare for the boys to be so unaware of their surroundings. Thor jumps to his feet and charges at Loki, who only disappears and appears a few feet behind his older brother, still laughing.

“Loki seems to be coming back to himself.” Frigga sighs happily.

Odin nods.

“He does. He seems happier.”

Frigga smiles as she watches Thor drag his slighter sibling to the ground, pinning him with all his strength. Loki wriggles and squirms beneath him. Frigga cannot hear what is said but it makes Thor laugh that booming laugh of his and she cannot help but giggle alongside them.

“They are boys at heart, are they not?” she marvels.

Odin allows himself a small smile and nods once again, his eye softening as he watches his boys wrestle like children.

“It does one good to see it.” He agrees as he makes his way to his feet. “Call on them once they are finished and bring them to dinner.”

Frigga waves her hand at her husband and nods.

“Yes, yes. We shan’t be long.”

Odin makes his way back to the palace and Frigga continues to watch the boys. Her smile slowly turns to a frown as she notices Loki snake his arms around Thors neck and pull him closer, until their chests are flush against one another. She hears Thors laugh again and suddenly realizes that this is something that she would rather not see. She makes her way to her feet and as she does, Thor presses his lips against Lokis. Friggas hand flies to her mouth as their mouths begin to work against each other. There is nothing brotherly about the kiss. It is filled with desire, lust and most definitely love. Frigga collapses into the seat beneath her and ducks her head, unwilling to be seen. She can feel her stomach churning but she pushes it down, dropping to a crouch, wishing she could run away and unsee what had just happened.

Xox

Loki gently pushes at Thors chest in order to break the kiss.

“Stop now.” He demands with a small smile. “We are in the open. Anyone could see us.”

Thor chuckles and nuzzles at his brothers hair.

“Damn them to Hel. I wish to be caught so that this blasted secret may become public knowledge.”

Loki pushes him away again, an uncertain look in his eyes.

“And then I shall either be hung or banished for all of eternity.” He says softly.

Thor lifts his head and sits back on his heels, still straddling Lokis thighs.

“Not when I am king.” He promises.

Loki props himself up with his elbows and smiles lopsidedly.

“You will be married then. It will be too late.” He says with a huff of laughter.

Thor rolls off of Loki and gets to his feet. He offers Loki his hand and pulls the smaller prince up, a wide smile on his face. 

“I shall not be deterred, brother. You are mine and I shall find a way to keep it like that.”

Loki laughs and wraps his arms around Thors waist, pulling him into him.

“You are too foolish to ever be king.” He teases, leaning closer in order to press a gentle kiss on the corner of Thors mouth. 

Thor turns his head to catch the kiss on his mouth and holds Loki there for the longest time.

Xox

Frigga buries her head in her hands and begins to sob openly. What has become of her family?

Xox

Loki and Thor make their way into the dining chambers together, laughing boisterously. Loki frowns, however, when he sees that it is only their mother seated at the long table.

“Where is Odin?” He calls as they make their way up the hall.

Frigga shakes her head and points a finger at Thor.

“You are to eat with your father in the maids quarters.” She orders.

Thors smile falters for a moment and Lokis heart begins to beat much too quickly.

“May I ask why?” Thor asks cautiously.

Frigga shakes her head. 

“No. You may not.” She says firmly. 

Loki does not glance at Thor as he makes his way up the stone steps towards the table. He takes the seat opposite his mother and does not look up until Thor has left the banquet hall. He swallows nervously and begins to cut his meat into tiny slices, desperate to keep his shaking hands busy. Frigga takes a sip of her wine and sighs loudly.

“I saw something today, Loki. Something that shocked me.” She says carefully.

Loki decides to feign innocence and raises one perfectly plucked eyebrow quizzically. 

“Oh?”

“You and Thor. In an embrace.”

“Oh.” Loki breathes, his cheeks flushing a deep scarlet. 

Frigga swallows another mouthful of her drink before continuing. 

“I do not wish to know who initiated what. I do not wish to know how long it has been going on for. I just want your word that it shall not continue past this evening.” 

Loki frowns, his blush fading and being replaced by a flush of anger.

“He is not my brother, you know. What we are doing is not against nature.” He snaps.

Frigga winces and places her goblet down.

“You were raised together as brothers, Loki. I fear that perhaps with the recent revealing of your parentage that you are confused about how you should love Thor.” She says gently.

Loki laughs a hollow laugh and shakes his head in disbelief.

“We have felt this way about each other for centuries, as well you know it! He has asked for my hand in marriage more times than I could possibly count.” Loki exclaims.

Frigga ignores the anger settling in her chest and looks Loki deep in the eyes, a serious expression on her face.

“If you continue with this behaviour Loki, I will have no choice but to tell Odin.” Frigga announces, her voice shaking slightly. “And he will be nowhere near as understanding as I have been, as you well know.”

xox 

Thor sits in his chambers and waits for Lokis visit until he is unable to keep his eyes open any longer. He drifts into a dreamless sleep, their book open on his lap.

Xox

Loki resolutely ignores Thors furtive glances at the breakfast table the following morning. Frigga watches both men intensely and Odin desperately attempts to ignore the tension surrounding his family. It is an uncomfortable atmosphere and one that makes the serving maids and guards uneasy.

“Your coronation is but a moon away.” Frigga says to Thor, in yet another fraught bid to make conversation.

Thor clears his throat and nods, his eyes never leaving Lokis face. 

“And your wedding.” Frigga adds with a smile.

Loki catches her eyes, silently pleading for mercy. Frigga ignores him and turns to beam at Thor.

“Very soon. Lady Sif will be moving into her own chambers the end of this week, in fact.”

Thor nods again, still watching Loki.

“Yes, she told me this.”

Odin half smiles.

“I am sure she is very excited, as are we.”

“Ecstatic.” Loki smirks, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Frigga casts him a warning look and Thor sighs heavily.

“She shall be your queen, you know.” Frigga points out, none too gently.

Loki raises an eyebrow and takes a small sip of his morning juice.

“And I shall not kneel before her.” He says simply.

Odin snorts and turns to glare at his adopted son.

“Your stubbornness shall be your downfall, Loki.” He warns.

“To fall one must drop from a height and believe me, I am already at my lowest peak.” Loki snarls, shoving a piece of toast into his mouth aggressively.

Thors eyes soften and he clears his throat once again.

“I am going to the stables, to see the horses, do you wish to come?” he asks Loki.

Loki shoots him a disdainful look and stabs the slice of meat before him.

“I would rather shove rusted daggers in my eyes.” He growls.

“That could be arranged.” Odin mutters under his breath.

Thor looks hurt and finally drops his gaze.

“So be it.” He sighs. “I shall see you all for dinner.”

Xox

Loki lies in the cool bath, staring at nothing, far away in his own mind.

“Sire? Sir Fandral wishes to see you.” His chambermaid Helena announces, her gaze lowered.

Loki blinks slowly and waves a hand lazily. 

“Let him in.” He orders.

Helena nods and backs out of the room. Fandral quickly enters afterwards.

“I did not realize you were not decent.” He sighs, sitting in the wicker chair by the stone sink.

Loki smiles.

“It is not anything you have not seen before.” 

Fandral smirks.

“That is true.” He chuckles. 

Loki waves his hand so that the bath empties. He slowly stands, feeling drained. Fandral watches him hungrily, eyeing his lithe body with lust. Loki notices him staring and quickly covers himself with a green bathrobe.

“Do you wish to talk?” Loki demands.

Fandral shrugs and leans back in the chair.

“I wished to see you. Why, I do not know.” 

Loki plaits his damp hair with dexterous fingers and rolls his eyes impatiently.

“You wish to fuck me.”

Fandral swallows hard but does not lower his gaze.

“Yes.”

Loki shakes his head.

“I am not your whore, Fandral.”

Fandral laughs aloud, the sound reverberating against the stone walls.

“I realize this! But I miss you.”

Loki bites his lip and shakes his head once again.

“I cannot.”

Fandral looks hurt, his eyes suddenly too bright.

“Is it because of him?”

Loki ducks his head slightly before nodding.

“Yes.” He answers softly.

“You know he shall be fucking her soon enough? And he shall not spare your feelings, Loki. They are to be married in less than a moon!” he exclaims angrily.

Loki shrugs his shoulders, picking at a loose thread on his bathrobe.

“I am no fool, Fandral, but I promised.”

Fandral chuckles hollowly before getting to his feet.

“You promised me before, remember?”

Loki does not answer, choosing instead to look at his hands. Fandral snorts as he leaves the room.

“He cares not for you, Loki. He only wishes to keep you as his out of principle. For his own great pride.”

xox

Thor looks up and smiles as he watches Sif approach the stables. His eyes widen slightly when he notices that she is wearing a lilac silken dress.

“You are wearing a dress!” Thor exclaims.

Sif giggles and gives him a small twirl, the weightless fabric swinging elegantly.

“Yes, in honour of our dinner tonight.” 

Thor frowns.

“What dinner?”

Sif looks at him in disbelief before laughing once again.

“You are rather hopeless, are you not? The family feast your mother has been organising for half a moon?” she teases.

Thor shakes his head and smiles uncertainly.

“It is not ringing any bells.” He insists.

Sif rolls her eyes and steps closer, a small smile on her face.

“Do you like it? My dress?” she asks shyly.

Thor reaches down to run his fingers along the seam by her hip, a soft small gracing his face.

“It is an improvement.” He decides.

Sif barks out a laugh and slaps him on the arm.

“I can still fight you, Odinson, do not believe for a second that I shall relent on pinning you to the ground.” She warns.

Thor smirks and bows at her mockingly.

“You pinning me to the ground is something I am rather looking forward to.” He purrs.

Sifs eyes widen for the briefest moments before she hits him once more.

“You do not speak to a lady in such a way!” She laughs.

Thor wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her close so that she is flush against his chest.

“You are no lady. You are Sif.” He says simply before pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of her mouth.

Xox

Dinner that night is much more unpleasant than breakfast. It is awkward and uncomfortable and Loki is white with fury as he listens to them ramble on and on about the blasted wedding. Thor thinks that he can see him shaking. Whenever Sif addresses the younger prince or tries to include him in the conversation he stares her down with the kind of look that would chill a person to the core. Thor drinks much more mead than is strictly necessary and it is not long before he has reached his limit. He stands to his feet a little woozily and offers them all a warm smile.

“I must retire to my chambers.” He slurs. 

Frigga and Sif only laugh whilst Odin shakes his head in disapproval.

“Escort him, Loki.” Odin orders. “And then return to your own chambers. You are not much company this evening.”

Loki glares at the Allfather before making his way to his feet as well.

“Come along then, you oaf.” He growls at Thor.

Thor chuckles and staggers out of the hall after Loki. Loki walks two steps ahead of him the whole way, ignoring Thors whining.

“Loki, please, why will you not look at me?” he moans as they reach his chamber.

Loki blasts the door open and waits for Thor to step inside.

“Loki!” He demands drunkenly, throwing a heavy arm around his shoulder. 

Loki holds his tongue and drags Thor over to his bed, where he proceeds to try and pull Loki down on top of him.

“Stop it!” Loki spits, pushing him away rather violently.

Thor sobers up slightly and raises an eyebrow.

“What is it? You are like ice this eve.”

Loki stiffens up and scowls at Thor.

“Are you really that oblivious? Do you think I enjoy discussing your wedding to that wench?” he hisses.

Thor sighs heavily and throws himself down on the bed behind him. He glares at Loki, his eyes a stormy blue.

“I have given you choices, brother.” Thor warns.

“I am not your brother!” Loki shrieks, his eyes glowing the faintest shade of red.

He claws at his hair and breathes harshly through his nose.

“You are Asgards greatest idiot, Thor! You-Do you honestly believe that people would accept me, the closet Jotun, as your queen? Do you think your parents would accept it?” he demands, standing over Thor, his green eyes sparkling with unshed tears. 

“Our parents.” Thor corrects softly. 

Loki laughs hysterically and pushes Thor back into the bed as he attempts to sit up. Thor frowns up at him, swallowing thickly.

“Loki…” He starts but Loki cuts across him.

“It is over, all of this foolishness that for centuries I have tolerated; it is over.” Loki declares, tears now openly pouring down his face.

“You did a lot more than tolerate it.” Thor snaps.

Loki shakes his head and wipes his eyes with the backs of his hands fiercely.

“Do not, Thor.” He pleads, taking a step away from his brother as he reaches out to grab Lokis hips. “Do not make this any harder than it has to be.”

Xox

It is only when Loki is in his Jotun form later on that eve that he can feel it. As he lies in his ice-cold bath with his hands folded across his stomach, he can feel life, something warm and alive settling itself deep inside his stomach. He closes his eyes and slips beneath the water, too tired and sad to do anything but sob.


	5. I Have Never Known Completeness

Sif leans against the door of her newly acquired chamber and cocks her head to the side, regarding Thor carefully.

“You do not seem like yourself.” She remarks, watching her future husband stand in the middle of the room, silent and distant.

Thor takes in the ornately decorated room and shrugs his large shoulders. It reminds him of Loki. There are silver jewels hanging all about the room. There are those scented candles that Loki adores sitting along the windowsill. It is like Lokis room but with a distinctive Sif-ness about it.

“It seems to be a waste. You shall be my queen in less than a moon; I see not why you need your own chambers.” He sighs, not being completely untruthful. 

Sif laughs and tosses her dark hair over to one side, her dark eyes sparkling as she steps closer to the future king.

“It is my own personal space to escape to if needs be. Your mother has one also. You do not like it.” She teases, sliding her hands up Thors warm chest, a small smile on her lips.

Thor smiles down at her uncertainly. Sif is beautiful in ways that other Asgardian women are not. She is dark and strong and powerful and Thor respects her more than most of the warriors he fights alongside. But she is Sif. She is the young girl who used to plait his hair. She is the one who used to sit with him and Loki for hours beneath that gnarled old apple tree and read. In a way, Thor feels as if it is Sif who is betraying Loki. He is in a position where there is no happy outcome. To choose Loki would break Sifs heart and vice versa. Thor pulls her close and drops a kiss to her forehead.

“If it makes you happy, so be it.”

Xox

Loki watches the sunset from his bedroom window sadly, his forehead pressed against the cool glass. He tries to ignore his reflection, never failing to be surprised when he notices the red eyes looking back at him. He glances down at his blue hands and dark nails and tries once again to return to his Aesir form. It is futile. He seems to be doomed forever, burdened by his Jotun form and his Jotun child. He carefully drops a hand to his stomach and he can still feel it. It is like the gentle fluttering of butterfly’s wings, moving within him. He does not know whether or not he enjoys the feeling. He pulls up his tunic to reveal the lean, blue muscles of his stomach. He stares at it for the longest time, wondering if it can feel his gaze.

Xox

Thor hovers outside Lokis door for what seems like eternity, ignoring the questioning glances from the guards. Loki has not been seen in nearly eight nights and his chambermaid only informs them that he is well. But he is not well, Thor can feel it. Ever since that night Thor has felt different, as if he has lost a part of himself. He takes a step forward once again before stopping just as he is about to knock on the old oak door. Thor sighs loudly and folds his arms across his chest, a troubled look on his face. 

“Thor?”

Thor spins around to see Frigga watching him from the top of the corridor.

“Is everything alright?” She asks as she glides towards him.

Thor bites his lip before coming to meet his mother halfway. 

“Loki has not left his room in almost eight nights. I do not know if he is eating and he is refusing all visitors, including his healer which is most unlike him, is it not?” Thor mutters anxiously.

Frigga casts a glance towards Lokis door before nodding.

“It is.” She admits. “But I shall see to him, you return to your chambers.”

Thor shakes his head.

“No. I would like to accompany you if you do not mind?”

Xox

Loki looks up as the handle on his door begins to turn. He quickly grabs a cloak and drapes it around himself, sensing that it was not Helena at the door. He stiffens and does not move from his seat on the window bay when both Frigga and Thor enter the room. Frigga gasps softly when she notices Lokis Jotun form. Loki watches the way Thors fingers twitch, obviously seeking Mjolnir. Loki straightens in his seat and glares at Thor, his eyes flashing dangerously.

“There is no need to be on the defensive, brother. We only wish to see how you are feeling.” Thor says calmly, taking a step towards Loki, one hand outstretched in a reassuring manner.

“I am well. Leave me be.” He orders, narrowing his eyes in distrust.

Frigga shakes her head, a shocked look on her face. Her son did not look like her son. He looked gaunt and hungry and impossibly sad.

“You are not well! Why are you like that?” she asks, horrified, referring to Lokis Jotun form.

Loki does not have the energy to explain. He drops his head back against the glass behind him and shakes his head slowly.

“Just leave. Please.” Loki pleads, a defeated look in his ruby eyes.

Thor cocks his head to the side and frowns at Loki. His brother is not himself. There is no fight left in him. He is quiet and pliant and so unlike Loki that it hurts Thor to watch him.

“Why are you in your Jotun form?” He asks gently.

Loki is about to answer when his stomach suddenly heats with something that Loki has never felt before. His hands fly to his stomach, beneath his cloak, and he swears that, whatever it is, is responding to Thors voice. He strokes his still muscular stomach and does not answer Thor. Thor turns to look at Frigga who appears to be holding back tears. She shakes her head at Thor in resignation, her watery eyes looking at Loki with such pity that Thor wonders why Loki has not started crying himself.

“Loki. Come and eat something with us.” Thor coaxes, taking another step forward. “You need to eat.”

His stomach heats again and Loki curls his toes in pleasure. There is no doubt then; the child is most definitely Thors. His stomach pulses with the life-form within him and it takes all of Lokis not inconsiderable strength the stop himself from gasping.

“No.” He snarls through gritted teeth. “I am not hungry.”

“Loki.” Thor sighs impatiently. “Enough. I order you to come eat with me.”

Loki bares his teeth and Frigga takes another step backwards, her eyes wide and frightened looking. They are still Lokis perfect teeth, but his canines are much sharper, like that of a beast. Loki drops from the window to a crouch, one hand still placed on his stomach and still hidden by his cloak. He is angry. He is angry that the child is Thors and that Loki must carry this burden alone. 

“Leave me be Thor, Son of Odin. I am in no humour for you or your oafishness.” He hisses, leaning forward, ready to spring in to attack.

“Mother. Leave us now.” Thor growls, his eyes never leaving Lokis face. “I wish to speak with Loki alone.”

Frigga shakes her head, still looking ridiculously frightened of her youngest in his true skin. She was not prepared for this; she did not expect her beautiful boy to look so beastly. There was still a beauty, an ethereal kind of beauty that she could appreciate but the man before her seemed wild and unstable and showed none of Lokis composure. 

“Mother!” Thor snaps, throwing her a violent look over his shoulder. “Leave!”

Frigga reluctantly makes her way to the door, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears. She wants to tell Thor to be careful; she wants to tell Loki that she is sorry. Thor keeps his eyes on Loki, who had himself backed into a corner like a trapped animal. He waits until the door behind them closes before he speaks again.

“What is this madness, Loki? Why are you behaving in such an aggressive manner?” he demands.

Loki snorts and rolls his deep red eyes, a small smile playing on his pale blue lips.

“It is my true nature, is it not? This is the real me.” He purrs dangerously, leaning forward, inching closer to Thor.

Thor does not take a step back. He stands still and challenges his brother silently. Loki watches Thor with unblinking eyes, internally trying to calm the being within him who was growing warmer the closer Loki got to his brother. Thor slowly drops to his knees, never taking his kind, blue eyes off Lokis face.

“Are you trapped in this form because you are angry?” He asks, remembering the last time Loki had burst into his true skin.

Loki cocks his head to the side and smiles uncertainly, surprised by his brothers insightfulness.

“I am not just angry, Thor.”

Thor looks taken aback.

“What are you then?” he urges softly.

Loki relaxes his posture slightly and rocks back on his heels.

“I am simply very, very sad.”

Xox

Frigga races down the corridor towards her martial chamber. The guards watch her with concern but she does not call on them, not yet. She pushes the old oak door open forcefully, her heartbeat racing. Odin stands up from his desk the moment she enters the room.

“What is it?” he demands, sensing that all is not right.

“Loki.”

Xox

Sif wanders down the corridor towards Lokis chamber. She knew that if Thor would be anywhere within the palace it would be there. It had become quite obvious to her that Thor was worried about his brother. Loki had not been seen since the disastrous family dinner eight nights ago. She nods at the guards as she approaches the door.

“Is Thor there?” She asks one of the men.

He nods slowly, an anxious expression on his face.

“I do not think the princes wish to be disturbed.” He mutters.

Sif frowns and stares at the door for a moment, listening intently, desperately trying piece together what could be happening behind it. She takes a step back after a short moment and nods at the young man in thanks.

“I believe you may be right. Besides, I am probably the last person Prince Loki wishes to see.”

Xox

“I do not wish sadness on you, Loki. I would not wish it on my worst enemy.” Thor murmurs honestly, his arms wrapped around the slighter prince.

Loki sighs and leans back into his brothers embrace. Thor is like a furnace and the being inside his stomach practically vibrates with happiness when Thor rests his hands just below Lokis narrow waist.

“I know you don’t.” Loki sighs, looking down at his hands that were placed over Thors. 

The contrast in their skin colour was remarkable. It was beautiful.

“Then let you be happy, Loki.” Thor whispers into his hair. “Tell me what it will take. I will do anything.”

Loki contemplates telling him for a moment. He toys with the idea for a tantalizing minute or two. But he shakes his head slowly and turns in the Thunder Gods arms so that he is facing him. Their lips are but inches away and Thor watches him intently, silently begging him to let him know.

“Do not marry her.” Loki states simply, his red eyes clear and honest. “Say you are not yet ready to marry and let us continue as we always have.”

Thors eyes widen minutely but that alone is enough of an answer for Loki. He pushes out of his brothers embrace and rocks back on his heels once again.

“You are not wishing sadness on me, brother, but you are the cause of it.” He declares with a jerk of his head.

Thor opens his mouth to argue when the chamber door bursts open. Odin and Frigga step in, flanked by the Warriors Three. Lokis mouth forms a perfect circle as Volstaag steps forward and drags an unsuspecting Thor backwards by his cape. 

“Loki.” Odin warns him. “You need to calm down and return to your Aesir state.”

Loki blinks in confusion and holds his hands up before him.

“I am calm.” He announces.

“Then return to your Aesir state.” Odin commands in a booming voice. 

Thor breaks free of Volstaags grip and steps up beside his father.

“There is no need for this, for any of this!” He snaps. “Loki is quite calm, Father.”

“Silence!” Odin spat, turning his eye on his eldest son. “He is a danger to both himself and our people when he is like this.”

Fandral steps forward and offers Loki a small bow.

“My prince, if you follow us to your holding cell until you calm down, then there shall be no need for violence or conflict.” He simpers. 

Lokis eyes flash blood red and he takes a step towards the warrior. He eyes his ex-lover in disgust and waves his hand at him so that Fandral is forced back against the wall. Fandral gasps as a crushing weight bruises his chest. Thor shoots Loki a pleading look. Loki rolls his eyes and releases his grip on the warrior. Fandral slowly drops to the ground, his eyes wide and fearful.

“Do not speak to me, you worm.” He spits before turning his attention on the Allfather. “What is this? Is this your way of intimidating me?”

Odin puffs his chest out and attempts to stare down his adopted son.

“I am trying to help you.” He insists.

“Liar!” Thor bellows. “There is no need for a holding cell! He has not harmed anyone!”

Volstaag steps forward once again and places a hand on Thors shoulder.

“I think you need to calm down, friend.” He mutters quietly. 

Frigga nods in agreement and clutches at Thors arm desperately. 

“He could have killed you! You have not yet witnessed Jotun sorcery, Thor.” She whispers.

Loki stares at her, his face twisted with hurt.

“How could you?” He demands, taking yet another step forward. “How could you seek that fool and his warriors out? Do you not trust me?”

Frigga watches him unhappily, her eyes filled with tears.

“I did not want you to do something you would later regret. You are not in the right state of mind!” she exclaims.

Loki frowns and glances down at his body.

“My mind is the same as ever.” He spits. “And as for Jotun sorcery how could it be Jotun if I was taught it in Asgard?”

Odin holds up a hand to silence the younger prince.

“Return to your Asgardian form and this shall all be forgotten. You are Loki of Asgard, not Loki of Jotunheim.” He orders.

Loki sighs loudly, closes his eyes and tries once more, desperately trying to force the blue colour from his skin. Lokis healer steps forward, appearing from behind the group and wraps her small hand around Lokis arm, watching with relief as the blue slowly fades to his usual alabaster. Loki almost smiles until a sharp pain shoots through his middle and his eyes snap open with shock. 

“Let go!” He shrieks wildly. “Let go!”

His healer frowns but keeps a hold of Lokis arm.

“I am trying to help-” 

But she is cut short by an extremely powerful burst of magic that knocks over everyone in the room. When Odin falls, the ground shakes and the skies cloud over. Loki quickly turns back to his Jotun form and looks at all the fallen figures in shock. It is Thor who first reacts, leaping from the ground and pinning Loki to the hard, marble floor. Loki falls with a dull thud, his eyes busy searching Thors face, silently apologising. Thor is staring at him in shock and hurt, his bottom lip cut and swollen from the fall. Odin slowly makes his way to his feet and with the wave of his staff Loki is shackled and chained as lightening claps outside. Thor rolls off of him and goes to help his mother to her feet. Loki looks up at Odin helplessly, his red eyes wide and pleading.

“I did not mean to.” He whimpers.

Odin watches him coldly before kneeling down by his youngest.

“This is your last chance, Loki. Return to your Asgardian form at once.” He snarls.

Loki sobs dryly and tries to wriggle away as Odin places his hand on Lokis cheek, the blue colouring, once again, beginning to ebb away. The horrifically sharp pain in his stomach returns and Loki jerks his head away from Odins touch violently, bucking his hips upwards, desperately trying to escape.

“Please! Please do not!” He pants harshly. “I am with child!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! <3 But be warned... angst ahoy! Also, are the chapters coming too quickly? It is just that I am bed bound until the foreseeable future and I have no life so... xD Much love! xo


	6. Does Anybody Know What We Are Living For?

Odin jerks backwards as though burned. Loki lies beneath him, his eyes wide and honest and his chest heaving. 

“You are…with child?” Odin whispers, his ears ringing.

Loki nods minutely.

“Yes.”

Odin stares at his youngest for a moment before turning to those gathered at the door. Frigga steps forward, tears now openly pouring down her cheeks, the side of her face bruising already from the fall. Thor is right beside her, his blue eyes like saucers as he gazes at Loki in shock. Fandral is whiter than a sheet whilst Volstaag supports himself against the wall behind him. Each of them appears as if they had just fought a battle that tested their very core. 

“Warriors, you may leave.” Odin finally orders.

Volstaag and Fandral do not need to be told twice. They quickly exit the room, slamming the heavy door behind them. The gathering storm outside has quickly dissipated, leaving behind it a sky that is neither gray nor blue. It is a strange mixture of the two and something that Loki has never witnessed before. 

“The chains!” Frigga suddenly snaps. “Rid him of those blasted chains!”

Odin does so with a wave of his staff. Loki still does not move, instead choosing to stare at the ceiling overhead. Thor drops to his knees by his head. Lokis eyes move slightly so that he can take in his brothers face. Thors eyebrows are furrowed and he is silently chiding Loki for not telling him earlier. Frigga slowly kneels so that she may clasp one of Lokis hands in her own. Loki meets her eyes and he knows that she knows. She shakes her head slightly and Loki swallows hard. Odin leans on his staff weakly, his eye slowly closing.

“My dear boy…why did you not speak sooner?” he breathes, scarcely able to believe what has happened.

Loki remains silent. The being inside of him is quivering in fear; he can feel it as if he were the one that was terrified. He thinks that maybe he is. Frigga squeezes his hand gently.

“It is okay, my love. You are safe now.” She soothes, running a hand over Lokis face, cupping his cheek tenderly.

Thor catches his eye once more and offers him a watery smile.

“I fear you may have shocked us into silence.” Thor chuckles weakly.

Loki does not return the smile. He feels that if he opens his mouth, his soul may escape. He feels broken in, a wild horse suddenly and horribly tamed.

“I think the young prince may be in shock himself.” The healer pipes up from behind them. “I think it is best that you leave him with me for a few hours.”

Xox

Thor collapses onto his bed and stares at the canopy of fabrics above his head. Loki is with child. His child, his eyes had told him as much.

Xox

Loki lies flat on his bed as his healer leans over him, muttering and whispering to herself, her hands hovering over his stomach for the longest time. Frigga is watching them from the corner of the room, her hands clasping her chest. Loki wants to curse her to Hel. He does not wish to speak to the cowardly woman, so afraid of her own son. He knows what she wishes to speak to him about and Loki does not wish to hear a word of it. His healer steps back and offers him small smile.

“Everything is fine.” She announces.

Loki releases a breath he had not realized he was holding.

“Thank you.” He mutters, slowly sitting up in the bed.

The healer bows and backs out of the room silently. Frigga steps forward and spreads her arms, like she used to when he was a child, beckoning him closer for a hug. Loki stares at her stonily and shakes his head.

“No.”

Frigga does not seem surprised. She sighs, her arms dropping by her side and nods.

“I understand.” She says softly.

Loki sniffs and tucks his knees up under his chin, regarding her coolly. Frigga sighs once again, louder this time and folds her arms across her jewelled chest.

“Is it his?” She finally asks, trying to ignore the disgust burning the back of her throat.

Loki turns his head to meet her gaze and nods once.

“Yes.”

Frigga closes her eyes briefly before allowing herself a small smile of disbelief.

“Okay. You sleep tonight and tomorrow we shall discuss this properly.”

Xox

Fandral sits beside Sif, a great bottle of mead in his hands. His eyes are bloodshot and he is still paler than usual. Sif wraps her dressing grown around her and pats her friend on the shoulder sympathetically. Fandral heaves a huge sigh and shakes his head in disbelief.

“Do you think it could be mine?” he asks, his eyes desperately searching Sifs.

Sif shrugs uncertainly.

“I could not possibly know. Has Loki lain with someone else? Is that why you stopped courting him?” She asks.

Fandral clears his throat uncomfortably and nods.

“Yes.” He answers quietly and Sif can see the hurt and the betrayal in his eyes.

Sif pulls him closer and offers him a small smile.

“Then there is a fifty-fifty chance, I suppose. Perhaps you should inform the other person?” She suggests.

Fandral laughs a dark laugh and shakes his head, wrapping his arms around Sifs narrow waist.

“I am sure he already knows.”

Xox

Thor awakes with a jolt once he feels a familiar weight land on the bed beside him. He almost shouts until Loki throws his palm over Thors mouth.

“Silence! Mother has placed guards outside your door to listen for any suspicious sounds!” Loki snarls.

Thor frowns at Loki and glares up at him, wrapping his hand around his brothers wrist and dragging it away.

“You would have done well to give me some warning then.” He grumbles.

Loki rolls his eyes and stretches out beside his brother, ice cold beside Thors delicious heat. Thor folds his arms across his chest and stares at his brother and his wonderfully blue skin. His skin is like the summer sky when it has reached its hottest peak. Thor traces one intricate marking on Lokis arm and half smiles.

“You are most strange and beautiful, brother.” He sighs longingly, a twist of desire burning within him.

Loki swats Thors hand away and raises an eyebrow.

“I am not here for that. I am here to discuss our child.”

Thors eyes glance at Lokis flat stomach and he finds it hard to understand that there is a baby inside of him. That they are having a child. Loki smiles softly when he notices that Thors eyes are fixed on his stomach, his eyes cloudy with a look that Loki only knows too well.

“Our child.” Thor repeats, biting his lips uncertainly. “I am most confused.”

Loki laughs quietly and rolls into Thors arms, taking one and resting the open palm on his stomach. His stomach quivers and Loki hums in contentment as the being inside of him glows with warmth. Thors eyes widen and he presses his hand against Lokis stomach harder, the heat from the child warming his hand.

“I can feel it.” He whispers. “That is my baby!”

He looks at Loki with a smile so wide that Loki feels his heart crack just a little bit more. Thor lifts Loki by his waist and pulls him on top of him, mashing their mouths together with such passion that Loki is almost instantly breathless. They slip their tongues into each other’s mouths and wrestle for dominance. Thor pins Loki against his chest and runs his hands up and down his lovers back, marvelling at the different ridges on his new skin, so different from his usually smooth, alabaster form. Loki kisses him back with such fervour that he begins to feel light-headed. This is it. He finally, finally, has something that Thor wants more than his Kingship. Thor rocks up into him and Loki smirks around his mouth as he feels the hardness of his member beneath him.

“Not now.” He mumbles against Thors wet, swollen lips.

Thor makes a frustrated sound and begins to palm Lokis bottom hungrily.

“Come, brother. It has been so long since I have held you.” He whines, pulling at Lokis black tunic determinately.

Loki laughs softly and pulls away from the larger god, still straddling his hips. His own member is hard and aching to be touched but he refuses to lose control for fear of being caught by his mother’s guards. 

“Not tonight, Thor.” He whispers. “Next time.”

Thor pouts and throws his arms over his face dramatically.

“Tease.” He grumbles.

Loki laughs once again and rolls off of him, curling into his side of the bed.

“There shall be plenty of time for making love once we are married.” He sighs with a happy smile on his lips.

There was no doubt in his mind that if he is carrying the future heir of Asgard that they would most definitely be getting married. There was no way their love could be denied now. Thor chuckles and turns to Loki, a delighted smile on his handsome face.

“I told you I would find a way to make you my queen!”

Xox

Frigga finds Odin in the library, a book on Jotun biology sitting open on the table before him. He looks up when she enters and offers her a tired smile.

“Has he revealed who the father is?” he asks.

Frigga sighs and sits down opposite her king, looking just as tired and worn.

“Does it matter?” she urges.

Odin frowns.

“Of course it does! He shall not carry that child to term without the father by his side! It would be shameful.” Odin snaps.

Friggas shoulders slump, a helpless expression on her face.

“You are not going to like it.” She warns. “In fact, I have no doubt that you shall be furious.”

Odin sets his jaw and glares at his wife. Frigga shrugs in defeat and takes her husband’s hand in hers.

“Promise me you will not hurt them?” She urges.

“Frigga.” Odin growls. “Tell me.”

“Promise me.” Frigga demands.

Odin rolls his eye and sighs loudly.

“I promise, I promise! Now, tell me.”

Frigga squeezes his hand and does nothing to stop the tears forming in her eyes.

“Thor is the father.”

Xox

Thor jolts awake once again as a huge clap of thunder shakes the palace. He sits up in the bed and blinks blearily, looking out his window to see the sky light up with the fiercest lightening he has ever witnessed. Loki rolls over in the bed, mumbling and muttering in his sleep. He throws an arm over Thors stomach and clutches at his waist.

“Sleep.” He grumbles.

Thor is about to reply when there is a rather timid knock on the door. Thor glances at Loki anxiously who only waves the door open with his magic. In steps Helena, Lokis chambermaid, her eyes widening slightly at the sight of the two princes entangled in the bed together. Thor found it strange that she knew Loki was in his bed in the first place.

“The Allfather has requested both of your presence in the Great Hall, immediately.” She announces softly.

Thor swallows hard and nods at Helena who quickly exits the room. Loki mutters a spell under his breath and they are both dressed in a quick flash. Thor looks at Loki fearfully.

“What shall we tell them?” He demands as Loki runs his hands through his sleep mussed hair.

His brother smiles sadly and kisses Thors cheek lightly.

“The truth.”

Xox

Sif walks into the Great Hall uncertainly, her robe wrapped around her tightly, her hair placed high in a neat bun. She approaches both Frigga and Odin quickly, her brow furrowed quizzically. 

“I hope that all is well?” She questions once she is standing before them.

Frigga reaches out to hold her hand and grimaces.

“I want you to know that all queens must make sacrifices. Sometimes our kings do things that do not please us, but we swallow our pride and we forgive them because they need us.” Frigga mutters quickly. “I need you to promise me that you shall not be too proud this night.”

Sif feels her stomach drop but nods regardless.

“Of course.” She answers firmly.

Sif can feel anger and betrayal practically burning off the Allfather. She steps in beside Frigga and waits the arrival of the two princes, uncertain as to what Thor has done that could possibly hurt her.

Xox

Just outside the Great Hall Thor stops and grabs Lokis hand, an earnest look on his face.

“Let me talk.” He pleads. “Do not overreact and say spiteful things. We handle this calmly and like two kings, understood?”

Loki rolls his eyes and snorts and is about to argue when the look in Thors eyes stops him. They are bright and blue and silently begging. Loki exhales loudly and squeezes Thors hand gently.

“You have my word.”

Xox

Sifs heart is in her mouth as she searches Thors face for some sort of clue as to why she has been called here. He doesn’t look at her though; he is too busy holding his father’s fiery gaze. Loki glides alongside Thor looking every bit as regal as he did when he was in his Aesir form. Sif cannot help but admire his skin and the contrast of his thick, black hair. He catches her eye for a brief moment and there is hatred in his eyes that Sif knew had not been there before.

“Why have you summoned us here, Father?” Thor quizzes once he reaches the foot of the steps.

The Allfather glares at his son, his mouth twisted unpleasantly. He walks down the steps until he is almost chest to chest with Thor, his eye boring into his.

“You bring shame on this house.” Odin growls. “Both of you do.”

Lokis lips twitch at the corners and Sif silently dares him to smile. Thor shakes his head, not once taking his eyes from his fathers face.

“We bring no shame. We bring joy and happiness and a future heir to Asgard.” He announces.

Sif frowns slightly and looks over at Loki who was watching Thor fondly. She clears her throat in hope that Thor will meet her gaze but he does not.

“You are brothers.” Odin spits in disgust. “You lay with your brother!” 

Sif cannot suppress her gasp. Her hands fly to her mouth and she takes a step forward, her brows furrowed and her mouth open. Frigga lays a calming hand on her shoulder and pulls her back beside her.

“Hush, child.” She whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of Sifs head.

Thor casts a side-ways glance and she can see the apology, clear and true. Loki drops his gaze but Sif can see a smug smile tugging at his lips.

“He is not my brother by blood.” Thor points out calmly. “And I have never loved him like a brother. I have always loved him like a soul-mate, like my future queen.”

Odin barks out a hollow laugh and turns to glare at Loki.

“It would not surprise me if this were your trickery at hand.” He snarls.

Loki tilts his head to the side and raises an eyebrow coolly.

“This is no trick, Odin. Your son loves me, and I him.”

Sif fights the urge to scream and clenches her fists angrily. Odin stares at Loki in disgust, his eye clouded with rage. His gaze falls upon Thor once again and it is clear as day that Odin is at a loss.

“You stand here, Thor Odinson, before your king and queen, before your betrothed and you declare love for him?” he exclaims in disbelief. “Have you no shame? Where is your pride, your honour?”

Thor does not react, continuing to watch his father calmly. He takes deep, steady breaths and remains silent. The Allfather takes a step back warily and turns his attention once more to Loki.

“I raised you as my own, Loki Laufeyson, and I loved you as much as I love Thor. But recently it has become more than clear to me that you really are not my son. My son is strong, warm and loyal. You are none of these.”

Loki flinches slightly, sucking in his bottom lip between his teeth in a bid to remain silent. Frigga casts Odin a filthy glare, unable to believe his cruelty. The Allfather makes his way back up his golden steps and takes a seat in his throne, looking impossibly old and unhappy.

“If I had my way, I would banish both of you and kill that abomination that nests in your stomach.” He growls. “However, Thor is my son and therefore what lies in your stomach is of Odin blood. So, I shall grant you an option, is that understood?”

Loki and Thor both nod minutely. 

“Loki, you may stay here and carry the child to full term if Thor continues with his original path and marries Lady Sif. All liaisons between you both end tonight and Loki your chambers shall be moved out of the palace but you may stay in Asgard and raise your child with its father nearby.” Odin announces.

Loki shakes his head furiously, his red eyes flashing dangerously.

“Of course not! You must think me a fool!” He snarls.

“What are the other options, Father?” Thor asks quickly.

“You both leave here tonight leaving behind a kingdom with no future king, a people with no hope and a family with no son.” Odin sighs. “You have until sunrise to inform us of your decision.”

Thor frowns and turns to face his mother.

“They are not fair options.” He declares. “In not one would either of us be happy.”

Frigga casts Odin a sideways glance before taking a step towards her son.

“I think you know what to do.” She says softly. 

Thor sighs heavily and looks over his shoulder at Loki who was watching him unblinkingly, his bright red eyes fixed on him, a desperate look in his eyes. He then turns to look at Sif who looked humiliated, her gaze fixed firmly on the ground. Frigga cups his cheek and smiles sweetly.

“I trust you, Thor. We both do.”

Xox

Sif waits until Frigga and Odin have left before she turns on Thor, her eyes wide and clouded with rage. 

“Could you give us a moment?” Thor murmurs softly to Loki.

Loki laughs and opens his mouth to protest but Sif launches herself at him, her face twisted and contorted, barely recognisable. She flies at him but Loki is too quick, side-stepping out of her way with ease, an amused smirk on his face.

“This is most touching. I had no idea your feelings were this strong.” He mocks, offering Sif a small bow. 

Thor makes a deep growling sound, shooting his brother a furious glance.

“Loki.” He warns. 

Loki rolls his eyes, feigning disinterest. Inside, however, his heart was pounding and he could taste fear in his mouth. 

“Whatever you need to say you may say it in front of me.” Loki insists.

Sif chokes down a sob and turns to Thor, tears quickly falling from her dark eyes.

“If he does not leave, then I shall and I shall not return.” She warns.

Thor takes a step closer to Loki, his blue eyes silently pleading.

“Please, brother. You are not heartless, grant her this much at least.”

Loki looks at Sif and nods slowly.

“Fine. I shall retire to my chambers. Come there once you are finished.” He sighs.

Thor smiles softly and plants his hand on his still flat stomach. Loki presses it into him, a tiny grin on his face.

“You are too soft.” He sniffs disdainfully before turning on his heel and leaving the Great Hall. 

Thor can hear Sif crying softly behind and when he turns around she fixes him with an accusatory stare.

“He’s right.” She snaps. “You are much too soft!”

Thor exhales heavily and takes a step towards her.

“Sif, you are one of my closest friends and the last thing I ever wished to do was hurt you.” Thor pleads. 

Sif sobs loudly and shakes her head, strands of her hair falling from her dark bun.

“He is your brother, Thor! You were raised together as brothers, how can you forget that so easily and lay with him?” she demands.

“Because I love him.” Thor answers honestly. “Because I have always loved him too much and wanted him in ways that I could not possibly explain.”

“And have had him, obviously.” Sif snarls. “What of your child? It will be a half-breed, it will be cast aside like Loki has been and then what of you? What of Asgard? What of your precious pride?”

Thors head jerks backwards as though slapped. Never has Sif spoken to him in such a manner. 

“Our child shall be accepted as the future King of Asgard and the people of this beautiful realm shall accept that.” Thor says quietly. 

Sif makes a scoffing sound and rolls her watery eyes.

“And what of me, Thor? I shall be shamed! People shall mock me and-”

“Sif.” Thor cuts across her, his voice dangerously low. “Do not guilt me into choosing between you. You forget your place.”

Sif opens her mouth wordlessly and stares at Thor in shock. It takes her a moment to recover and when she does, she is terrifyingly calm.

“Of course, my prince.” She croaks. “I shall return to my chambers now as you and Prince Loki have a great deal to discuss this eve. I shall see you the morrow.” 

Sif bows and exits the Great Hall swiftly, her head bowed and her shoulders hunched.

Xox

Loki paces up and down the marble floor of his chamber. He is nervous and agitated and swears that he will kill Sifs first born if Thor chooses her over him. He will kill it slowly and painfully, relishing every cry the child would make and-

Loki is interrupted from his thoughts by Thor entering the chambers, a weary look on his face. Loki does not say anything. He stills and watches the future king drop to his knees before Loki. He places one hand on Lokis hip and wraps the other around his thighs. He presses his face against Lokis flat stomach and inhales deeply. Loki resists the urge to thread his fingers through his hair and waits for the announcement. Thor murmurs something inaudible and Loki feels the life-force within him warming the blue skin surrounding it. Finally, Thor lets him go and looks up at him with an ashen face.

“I cannot abandon the kingdom, Loki.” He croaks.

Loki blinks and continues to watch him, silent and seething.

“I know that you would not be happy to stay as a cast-aside, a prince thrown out of his own palace but I think that with time Father will forgive us and allow you entry to the palace once more.” He continues, his blue eyes pleading. “And yes, I would marry Sif but she would only be my queen; you would be the one whom I truly love. I shall be king soon, Loki, and then it will be I who decides what your fate should be and I would-”

Thor falls silent once Loki steps out of his embrace. The air around them has grown ice cold and Thor can see the magic dancing angrily on the tip of Lokis fingers. The slighter God says nothing as he waves his hand about the room causing his most prized possessions to swirl around their heads and then land neatly in a piece of silk which quickly snaps together and bundles the items together. Thor frowns and carefully gets to his feet.

“Loki.” He warns as the Jotun throws on his travelling cloak. “Loki what are you doing?”

Loki silence suddenly breaks as he whirls around to glare at Thor.

“What do you think, you blundering oaf?” He snarls, taking a step close to the God of Thunder. “Do you think I wish to be cast aside like a forgotten toy? I am bearing your child and still you choose the throne over me! I will not stand for this! I refuse to stay and listen to their mocking whispers. I have my pride!”

Thor winces slightly and looks at Loki helplessly.

“I cannot abandon my people, Loki.”

“But you can abandon me? You can abandon your child?” Loki demands.

Thor shrugs his shoulders and takes a step towards his brother.

“If you just wait, if you just agree until Father has cooled down and then we-”

“No!” Lok shrieks, his eyes wild. “No! I am sick of skulking about in the shadows! I am a prince; I shall not be treated like a whore!”

Loki watches Thor, his chest heaving, his breath coming out in short, sharp pants.

“And I will not force our child to endure the pain of being raised a bastard. You have made your choice, my king.” Loki spits before disappearing with a loud pop.

“Wait. Wait! Loki! Loki, come back!” Thor roars desperately, spinning around in a circle, looking around frantically for the God of Mischief. 

“Loki!” He bellows. “I was wrong, I’m sorry! Loki!”

Thor stands and shouts until his voice grows hoarse, until Frigga and Odin enter the room and see their eldest son crumpled in a heap on the cool marble floor, looking exhausted and heartbroken. Thor cries openly when his mother wraps his arms around him and he feels no shame when his father kisses his brow.

“He is gone.” He chokes. “He has left me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeek! You guys are the sweetest! Thank you for all the lovely comments and more is already on the way! I hope you guys continue to enjoy reading it! Any concrit or suggestions are more than welcome! <3


	7. Rock Me Mama Like The Wind And Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. I know I posted a chapter yesterday BUT I am going into hospital this afternoon and I don't know how long I'll be there so. This was finished and ready to go anyways so I'll post this because for the time being, I have no idea when I'll be able to post again. Thank you all for the amazing responses and I only hope that you enjoy the path I have chosen to take with this story. And for those who are worried... THORKI SHALL PREVAIL!

Loki pulls the hood of his emerald, silken cloak up over his face and bows his head as he makes his way through the great golden gates of Alfheim. The land is bright and airy with a beauty that Loki can greatly appreciate. No one stops him at the gates, something of which he is relieved. The Light Elves pay him no mind, although Loki is certain it is because they are aware of why he is briefly visiting the realm. He may be in his Jotnar form, but as far as the elves are concerned he is still son of Odin, pregnant son of Odin at that.

Xox

Thor does not speak the following morning. He sits at the breakfast table mute and unable to listen to the plans his mother makes for the wedding. Sif sits beside him stiffly, her eyes red and puffy having clearly spent the night in tears. Frigga blabbers on incessantly but not one of them are paying her any real attention, each other them lost in their own sorrow. The servants hover uncomfortably, some of them silently wondering if the palace is in mourning. Finally, Thor can take no more and rises to his feet. Frigga and Sif both look up at him, expecting some sort of outburst. Thor just hangs his head and leaves, causing both ladies to watch him in a mixture of shock and pity.

Xox

Loki sits in the brightly lit throne room, his cloak folded on the back of his chair, sitting uncomfortably in his Jotnar form as the Elven guards watch him with obvious distaste. The room is decorated delicately with beautiful white gold chains and diamond jewels. Loki rises as soon as Queen Aeltri enters the room, her long, light hair hanging loosely by her waist. She wears few jewels and one of the finest lace dresses in which Loki has ever laid eyes on. He bows subtly and Aeltri waves her hand, indicating that he may sit.

“My Lady.” He murmurs in thanks as he takes his seat before her. “I must thank you for your hospitality at such short notice.”

Aeltri smiles kindly, her light blue eyes sparkling with good-nature.

“I could not refuse a son of Odin, adopted or not.” She says warmly.

Loki bows his head slightly before looking back up at the Elven queen.

“I fear that I must confess that I am here with motive. I come to seek your help.” Loki explains.

Aeltri raises one eyebrow but she does not interrupt the young god.

“I come to you because I am with child and for reasons that I do not wish to disclose, I have been forced to leave Asgard. I wish to travel to Midgard but cannot until I may return to my Aesir form without harming my unborn child.” Loki sighs. “I have my own magic but it is not enough. It weakens me to change to the point where it pains the being within me.” 

Aeltri regards Loki with interest and crosses her long, elegant legs.

“It is strange that you have turned to the Elves, Loki of Asgard and not your own kind. Did you fear that the Jotnar would refuse you?” She asks in a sing-song voice.

Loki shakes his head. 

“I have no wish to get the Jotnar involved, least of all my true father, King Laufey. I turn to the Elves for it is known across all the realms that you are both fair and kind. I do not expect your aid without a price and in return I offer you my first-born as a betrothed to your son Hrinmeer.”

Aeltri tilts her head to the side, clearly toying with the idea.

“And it is Elven magic which you desire?”

Loki nods.

“Just enough to allow me to return to Aesir form and protect my child.”

Aeltrie smiles serenely.

“And that is the child of Thor Odinson, yes?”

Loki nods minutely.

“Yes…”

Xox

Thor sits in the Great Hall and watches as his mother chooses flowers for the wedding celebrations. Sif sits to his right, her gaze distant and uneven as she stares off past his mother’s shoulder. There is a heavy silence between them and one which Thor must break instantly.

“I apologise.” He whispers, casting his friend a desperate glance. “I truly did not mean to hurt you.”

Sif blinks at him owlishly before nodding.

“I know.”

Thor sighs heavily and rests his head in his hand. 

“I feel as if I have ruined everything.” He confides.

Sif nods once again.

“I fear that you have. If not with I, then most certainly with Loki.” She says softly.

Thor flinches a little at that and looks at Sif anxiously.

“You think that choosing Asgard was the wrong choice?”

Sif shrugs and folds her arms across her chest.

“Who am I to say? I must not forget my place.” She answers bitterly, echoing Thors words from their argument two nights before.

Thor watches her for a moment before turning his attention back to his mother who was smiling so hard he feared her cheeks would crack and break, not unlike the porcelain dolls he and Loki used to play with.

Xox

Aeltri drops the emerald amulet over Lokis head and instantly his blue skin ebbs away, being replaced with smooth, alabaster skin. Loki holds his hand to his stomach and still he can feel the warmth of his child beneath his palm. He offers Aeltri a dazzling smile and drops a kiss to her soft hand.

“I cannot possibly express my gratitude.” He says softly.

Aeltri pats his cheek gently and smiles warmly. 

“I wish you luck and I thank you, Loki of Asgard. I hope that your child may be gifted with the best of both its fathers.”

Lokis face darkens slightly and he nods stiffly.

“As do I.”

Xox

Sif sits with Fandral beneath Lokis old apple tree and shares a bottle of mead with him. She feels weary and sad. Fandral hums softly to himself as Sif watches Thor wrestle Volstaag.

“You knew.” Sif whispers as Volstaag falls to the ground with a great thud.

“Aye.” Fandral mutters around the neck of the bottle.

Sif turns to look at him, hurt clear in her dark eyes.

“Why did you not tell me?” she demands quietly.

“Because I wanted to lessen the chance of Loki being banished. Not that it did a lot of good in the end.” He sighs, a sad look on his face.

Sif takes a large swig from the bottle and leans her head back against the tree trunk behind her.

“This wedding now feels like a punishment.” She admits.

Fandral chuckles and pats her thigh amiably. 

“Spare a thought for the pregnant prince that has been abandoned.” He laughs with a small shudder. “Yet another child that shall be cast-aside because of idiot parents.”

xox

Thor lasts all of three days before he snaps. Since Lokis departure he has silently mourned his loss, doing his best to appear cheerful around those that do not know or do not understand. But he cannot take it anymore, not when Frigga announces that Odin and herself had secured Sif and him some time away in Alfheim for their honeymoon. Thor slams his fist against the table, causing the wood to creak and moan. His goblet and plate fall to the ground with a loud clang and Thor leaps to his feet, his blue eyes narrowed in fury. Sif looks up at him with interest, surprised that it had taken so long for Thor to lose his infamous temper.

“Stop it. Stop with the talk of the wedding, of the infuriating planning and discussions of flower arrangements. I care not if I married in a potato sack. This, all of this, is a farce!” He bellows, spittle flying everywhere.

Odin glares at his son angrily and slaps him on the shoulder, forcing him back into his seat.

“Do not speak in such an offensive manner in front of Lady Sif!” Odin snaps.

Thor turns to face his father furiously. 

“Sif does not wish to marry me and I do not blame her! What I have done is unforgivable, why should she wish to be married to a man with no honour? I allowed him to leave with my child, Father, in hope that you would forgive me. What kind of man does that?” Thor demands.

“A king.” Sif answers softly. 

Thor, Odin and Frigga all turn to face her, surprised looks on their faces. Sif sighs and looks at Thor kindly.

“You chose your people over your own happiness. You were not given fair choices but you made the right one. You’ve probably lost Loki and your child for all of eternity but you have not brought shame on Asgard by abandoning the throne. What you did was noble, Thor.”

Thor visibly calms down, his blue eyes softening as he turns his attention on the woman before him.

“It was not.” He murmurs. “But I thank you for your kindness.”

Sif shrugs and offers him a smile that is almost as warm and as genuine as they had always been.

“You are my king and after tomorrow, my husband. I shall tell you when you are in the wrong but I will also show you why you are right.”

Thor clears his throat and slowly sits down opposite Sif, each holding the others gaze. 

“But do not try to convince me that I am right when I am clearly wrong.”

Xox

Loki looks up at the sky-scrapers surrounding him and frowns. New York has changed a great deal in the last two centuries or so. The streets are bustling with people who do not care for him or where he has come from. They push past him roughly, not caring if they push him or bump into him. Loki snarls when a particularly large woman pushes past him, causing him to stumble most ungraciously.

“Watch where you’re goin’.” She snaps, casting Loki a disdainful look.

Loki blinks at her insolence and raises his hand, magic beginning to dance on his fingertips. He would teach her for treating the prince of Asgard like nothing more than some commoner. He was interrupted however by a firm hand wrapping itself around his wrist.

“I think you should drop your hand, sir.” A voice commands.

Loki rolls his eyes and attempts to twist out of the grip but the mysterious man is too strong and Loki is too weak from his travels to put up a real fight. Loki sighs irritably and drops his hand, turning around to come face to face with blue eyes and blonde hair that remind him terribly of Thor. The man offers him a tight smile and quick as a flash places handcuffs around Lokis slender wrists. Loki raises an eyebrow quizzically.

“There is no need for these.” He says in a bored tone. “I will come with you willingly.”

The blonde haired man regards him uncertainly before shaking his head.

“Not gonna take any chances, I’m afraid.” 

Loki sighs and mutters under his breath causing the metal bracelets to melt in a puddle by his feet. The blonde man stares at him in shock and quickly grabs a hold of Lokis shoulders, twisting and turning him so that he may pin his arms behind his back.

“Sir, I’m going to ask you to follow me and I ask that you do so peacefully.”

Loki smirks and nods.

“I have been nothing but peaceful since my arrival, why would I change that now?”

xox

Thor feels stupid when he steps into Lokis chambers, in the vain hope that his brother may have decided to return. He feels his heart sink when he sees that the empty chamber is still indeed empty. He exhales loudly and runs his hands through his hair.

“I have made a mistake, brother.” He says quietly. “There is no joy in becoming king if you are not here to celebrate it with me. Come home, Loki. I love you.”

Xox

Lokis hands fly to his stomach as the child begins to warm him. He glances around the back of the moving vehicle, hoping maybe just a little that Thor had found him. The being inside him quivers happily and Loki allows himself a small smile. The child can obviously feel Thors presence even if Loki cannot. The blonde haired man watches Loki carefully, eyeing the god suspiciously.

“Are you okay? You’re not going to get carsick, are you?” 

Loki quirks his head to the side quizzically, unfamiliar with the terminology used. He regards the well-built man before him curiously. He is a strong man, with kind eyes and a soft smile. He is not unlike Thor. Lokis heart aches slightly as he thinks of the Thunder God, wondering if he was mourning the loss or if he were simply planning for his wedding to that wretch. Loki pouts and folds his arms across his chest. If he were queen he would behead Lady Sif. 

“Are you okay?” The man repeats, leaning closer. 

Loki frowns at the man.

“Does it matter whether I am alright or not?” he challenges.

The blonde haired man is about to answer when a woman with dark red curls turns to face him from the front of the car, a small smirk on her full lips.

“It kind of does, we need to bring you in alive and unharmed so if you could just stay that way, that’d be great.” She quips.

Loki smirks.

“Funny woman.” He nods in approval.

He can hear her mutter something to the driver and the two of them laugh not unkindly. The blonde haired soldier hands Loki a bottle of water, a kind smile on his face.

“If your stomach is nauseas just drink some water.”

Loki presses his stomach and shakes his head.

“I am not unwell, I am with child.”

Loki frowns as all three mortals, including the driver, turn to face him.

“Oh my God.” The woman gasps.

The blonde one stares at Lokis stomach as though expecting the child to wave at him. The driver turns his attention back to the road but his eyes are wide and almost vacant. 

“What is it? Have you never encountered a pregnant God before?” he demands.

The blonde one laughs loudly and runs a hand through his hair.

“You know what? I can’t say that I have!”

Xox

Tony Stark is a reasonable man and a man of science. He does not believe in the impossible and knows that there are phenomena’s in the universe that have yet to be discovered. He does have difficulty understanding, however, why there is a pregnant alien God with magical powers locked in one of his spare bedrooms. He doesn’t think it’s unreasonable to be a little bit confused. Steve apparently does.

“What did you want me to do? Let him wreak havoc around New York until S.H.I.E.L.D called us? I was cutting out the middle man.” Steve argues.

Tony nods exasperatedly.

“I know, for the millionth time I get that you were using your initiative soldier, what I don’t understand is why is he here? At my house?” he demands.

Steve looks at him as though the answer is obvious.

“Where else would I bring a pregnant god? Taco Bell?”

Tony snorts and folds his arms across his chest.

“Ok, Mr. Sass, sorry if I seem a little pissed here but it’s just that I woke up this morning with nothing more than a hangover and now I’m suddenly harbouring an extremely volatile God who undoubtedly is friends with some other angry Gods who are probably gonna shit all over my tower once they realize that we have the Prince of Mordor locked in a room. Never mind the fact that Fury is gonna roast my balls over a barbeque when he catches on, which should be any minute now because that thing you brought home hasn’t stopped howling like a banshee since he arrived here.”

Steve takes a sip of his coffee coolly and watches Tony over the rim of his cup.

“I think that maybe you’re over-reacting.” Steve states calmly. “You haven’t even given Loki a chance yet. Wait for him to calm down and then we’ll see what we’re going to do with him.”

Tony looks at him in disgust.

“You named it?”

Steve frowns in confusion.

“No…that’s his name…” He answers slowly.

Tony’s face slackens and he stares at Steve in disbelief.

“Loki? As in the God of Mischief, Loki of Asgard, brother of Thor the God of Thunder, Loki?” Tony babbles.

Steves eyes widen and he jumps to his feet, nearly knocking over his mug of coffee. He races for the door as Tony follows him, muttering curse words under his breath.

“Forget about what I said about the Gods shitting on my tower; they’re going to burn it to the ground and then feed us to their hounds or something.” Tony pants as they race up the stairs.

Steve shoulders the door open and both Tony and him stumble into the room, only to see the young prince crying in the middle of the floor, an emerald stone that hung around his neck glowing brightly. He does not stop crying as both Tony and Steve cautiously come closer, uncertain and unsure. His own green eyes sparkle in a way that draws Steve to him in a way that he cannot understand. Loki looks up at them with watery eyes and suddenly seems much younger and vulnerable than before.

“Hey.” Tony says gently as though speaking to a child. “Hey, we didn’t mean to lock the door, okay? In fact, we were just wondering if maybe you wanted to come down the kitchen and we could talk and maybe get something to eat? I know a great shwarma place down the road and-”

“Why are you speaking to me as though I am a youngling?” he demands thickly, sniffing loudly.

Tony looks at Steve for help but Steve has no idea what it is the young God wants to hear. Tony sighs and clears his throat.

“I dunno. It’s just with you sitting here crying hysterically and all I thought that maybe that voice was soothing.” He explains hopefully.

Loki rolls his eyes disdainfully.

“You were mistaken.” He snaps.

Steve leans closer, a concerned look on his face.

“Are you okay?”

Loki regards him sadly and shakes his head.

“No, soldier, I am not.”

Steve bites his lip and nods.

“Do you want to go home?” he probes.

Lokis eyes quickly fill with even more tears and he shakes his head.

“I cannot. I am not welcome there anymore and today my brother marries, forgetting me forever.”

Xox

Thor remembers that when they were young enough to dream but not young enough to forget, he and Loki would marry beneath that gnarled and twisted apple tree. Loki would leave his raven hair wild and free whilst Thor would have various plaits hanging in his. They would hold hands and declare their love to each other, each of them blushing like the innocent children they were. They had been happy, young and carefree. He remembers the chaste kiss Loki would press against the corner of his mouth each time, his emerald eyes sparkling with mischief. As Thor stands in the very same spot, holding Sifs hands in his, he feels an incredible sadness. The royals and nobles of the nine realms sit and watch as they are wed. Thor cannot help it when the thunder clouds gather overhead and neither is it his fault that a tear escapes him as sheets of ice begin to batter the canopy of white silk his mother has hung above them. An ice cold wind picks up and both Thor and Sif swear they can hear Lokis cry of anguish whistle by them as the wind chills them to their very core. Thor does not miss the way the Elven Queen, Aeltri seems to give her nod of approval as the ice falls around them. Odin and Frigga share a look of despair as various guests shift in their seats uncomfortably, not sure if this event is really as happy a union as Odin had expressed. When the ceremony ends, Thor places a chaste kiss to Sifs lips, mumbling his apology against them. Sif squeezes his hand and kisses him back and no one can deny the feral scream that causes the windows of Asgard to rattle.


	8. I Will Love You Till The End Of Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right. Have been discharged from the hospital (whoo). Bed rest, bed rest, meds and bed rest is the recommended course of treatment so. Suddenly I have lot more spare time on my hands than previously anticipated! Thank you all for your lovely comments and I hope that this chapters sates you all as I work on the next one! Comments, Kudos and suggestions are more than welcome! <3

“So…” Tony sighs. “Are we keeping him?”

He looks around at the rest of the team assembled before him. It had taken them a good two hours to coax the god downstairs for something to eat and yet another two to promise him that they would not harm him or the child he was carrying. Loki had been... hysterical, convinced that someone was going to kill him in his sleep or rip the child out of his stomach. Bruce had stepped in then, insisting that Loki sleep, not liking how pale the demigod was or how he seemed to shake from exhaustion. 

Natasha pulls a face and shrugs her rounded shoulders, her reddish curls bouncing as she does so.

“I don’t see why not?” She argues. "He's sworn that he's here on peaceful terms."

Clint eyes at her uncertainly, twisting his lips unhappily.

“He’s not very…stable, is he?” He argues. 

No one comments. They had quickly come to realize in a very short period of time what an emotional, volatile God could do with just the flick of his wrist. Tony casts a mournful glance at his now shattered flat-screen TV and nods.

“Nope, he’s a lot of things but stable is not one of them.”

Steve chews on his bottom lip anxiously before speaking.

“I think he needs us. The last time he came here was nearly two hundred years ago and his brother was with him. Now he’s alone, pregnant and like Clint said, pretty unstable. I think it’s our duty to keep an eye on him.” He declares.

Banner hums in agreement.

“I think if we get him to trust us he could be quite a valuable ally.”

It wasn't exactly the answer he was hoping for but Tony shrugs and bangs his gable against the smooth, mahogany table.

“’Tis settled then; Loki stays.” He announces, unable to keep the wariness from his voice. 

“Yay.” Clint mutters under his breath.

Tony silently agrees.

Xox

Thor and Sif make their way to their shared chambers in silence. The celebrations had been strained all evening and Thor could not shake the feeling that Aeltri knew something. Her eyes had followed him all night, a rather spiteful smirk on her face. It had shaken Thor to no end, as the Light Elves were renowned for their kind, compassionate nature. They step into their chambers reluctantly, neither of them meeting the others eye. He makes his way to the window and stares at the world outside rather pointedly as Sif swiftly changes behind him. When he turns to face her once again, she is beneath the covers, her hair held in place with a thick plait. Thor coughs and begins to remove his celebratory armor, carefully avoiding Sifs gaze. Once he is undressed he pulls on his night tunic. He slips into the bed beside Sif and keeps as far away from her as he dares. Sif looks at him questioningly and Thor tries not to take offense by the relief on her face as she realizes that he is not going to force himself on her. Sif turns her back to him and pulls the covers up over her shoulders as Thor stares at the ceiling above his head, trying to ignore the tears burning his eyes.

Xox

Loki sits beneath the yellow moon and stares up at the indigo sky above him. Stars that are thousands of miles away twinkle and shine in a way that makes Loki want to reach up and catch one. He wonders if Thor is looking at the night sky as he is. When they were children they used to huddle beneath their softest furs and try and count and name as many stars as they could. Loki had always been much better as Thor preferred to cuddle against him and listen to him speak rather than try and do it himself. Loki remembers the nights when they would lie in the palace gardens when they were no longer children but not yet adults. They would lie chest to chest, their hardness pressing against each other, searching each others eyes, begging one another for permission. Thor would pant into his mouth, kissing Loki with such unbridled emotion that it would make his heart ache. But Loki would always push him away, fearful of what would happen if he allowed Thor to touch him in such a way. Loki wonders if maybe he has pushed him away one too many times. He wonders if-

“Hey.”

Loki looks around and sees the soldier sit down beside him, the light from the moon causing his hair to seem much more golden than it was. He hands Loki a bowl of chunky looking soup. Loki accepts it with a gracious nod and places it on his lap.

“So. You settling in okay?” He asks kindly.

Loki looks thoughtful. He supposes that he is. He has been in these strange towers for nearly two weeks and finds that he is almost content. The Avengers do not bother him. They let him sleep as much as he needs to and eat as much as he pleases, never asking probing questions or trying to bother him in any shape or form.

“Yes. You all have been most accommodating.” Loki finally answers, sniffing the soup suspiciously.

Steve laughs and smiles brightly at Loki. Loki decides he likes his smile. It is sweet and innocent and reminds him of his youthful summers in Asgard, spent in the gardens with Thor and the Warriors Three.

“Good. That’s…good.” He says lamely, cringing internally.

Loki senses his awkwardness and feels something stir within his chest. The soldier is looking at him as Fandral used to when they were teens; with eyes that sparkle just a bit too much and a smile that shall not falter. He inches a little further away from the soldier and begins to ladle the soup into his mouth with gusto. Steve watches him and decides that Loki is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.

xox

Natasha sighs and turns to Clint shaking her head.

“Steve is totally going to get himself all wound up over Loki, isn’t he?”

Clint watches them from the patio door and wishes Steve would stop looking at the demigod with those ridiculous eyes and goofy smile.

“Uh huh.”

Natasha takes a sip of her hot chocolate and rolls her eyes.

“What does he think knocked Loki up? Super-Soldier or not, I don’t think he could handle an angry, possessive god.”

Clint shrugs.

"He obviously isn't that possessive if he lets his pregnant lover leave their realm or whatever the fuck its called."

Xox

Sif lies in their cold martial bed miserably and stares at the ceiling above her, her eyes distant. A moon has almost passed since their marriage and Thor has not tried to exercise his right as a husband once. Each night he would slip into bed long after Sif had retired to their chambers and would rise before Sif awoke. They had not trained or sparred since the marriage and Sif had yet to meet with Fandral, Hogun and Volstaag without Thors over-bearing presence. The day after the wedding they had had their first day in the Throne Room as the new King and Queen of Asgard but Sif has not set foot in there since, unwilling to be left alone with Thor. 

“Lady Frigga is here to see you, your Highness.” Her chambermaid, Lola, announces, disturbing Sifs thoughts.

She sits up and nods.

“Send her in.”

The chambermaid slips out and Frigga enters quickly after. The retired Queen frowns slightly when she sees Sif still in bed but it is quickly replaced by a knowing grin.

“Ah. The first couple of months are most exhausting, my dear.” She giggles.

Sif forces a smile and bows her head.

“Yes.” She agrees.

Frigga looks delighted and watches Sif for a moment before continuing.

“But as exhausted as you may be, you must keep up with your various duties. You have not been seen on the throne since the coronation and it can dishearten your people.” She explains.

Sif sighs and runs a hand through her tangled hair. 

“I understand.” She concedes, fully aware of the fact that she has been shirking her duties of late.

Frigga nods and pats Sifs leg gently.

“Also, I thought it best to remind you about the honeymoon in Alfheim? I mentioned it to Thor but he seemed quite distracted, I’m unsure whether he heard me or not. Regardless, it could be misconstrued as rude if you do not make the trip soon.” She urges.

Sif resists the temptation to pull a face and instead forces a smile.

“I shall speak with Thor.”

Xox

Thor watches the man before him vacantly, his eyes cold and distant as the man pleads for the right to take his brothers livestock in compensation for his brother sleeping with his wife. Thor cannot bring himself to even feign an interest. He is too busy wondering where Loki could be. Already he has contacted Laufey in Jotunheim, promising the return of their Casket in exchange of the safe return of Loki. Laufey had sworn that if he heard any word on the prince’s whereabouts that he would tell him immediately. The Dark Elves had also promised Thor that any information gathered would be brought straight to him. It annoyed him that there was still no word of his whereabouts. What infuriated Thor more than anything else was that Loki had found a way to blind Heimdall. Every time Thor begged the Seer to search for Loki, Heimdall would shake his head in defeat, puzzled as to why he could not find the other prince. 

Thor looks up as the doors behind him open, Lady Sif entering, looking ravishing in a deep purple dress with gold jewels. Thor rises from his seat as Sif comes to stand before him. She kisses his cheek chastely and takes her place at his right-hand side. The man kneeling before him remains silent, having obviously finished explaining his request. Thor seats himself once again and waves his hand dismissively at the man before him.

“You may take half.” He grants, not really caring of the outcome.

The man seems unhappy but nods regardless and thanks Thor for his time. Thor exhales noisily as the man leaves and turns to face Sif.

“You do not have to seat here for the day if you do not wish. It can be most tiresome.” He offers.

Sif frowns and faces with Thor with an unhappy look.

“I am Queen of Asgard; it is my duty.” 

Thor shrugs and leans back in his throne.

“So be it. But be warned; it is most dull today.”

Sif hums in response and places her hand on Thors forearm, trying to seem loving and caring. For she does love Thor; not matter what, she would always love Thor.

“Your mother has requested that we leave for Alfheim as soon as possible. She says that we have left our acceptance of the invitation hang for too long.”

Thor mutters something under his breath before nodding.

“Fine. I shall have Lola pack our bags and we may go next weekend.”

Sif nods unhappily and takes her hand back, folding them on her lap before her. Thor glances at her profile and wishes not for the first time that it was Loki who was sitting beside him.

Xox

“So. Um. You’re starting to show.” Tony announces one morning over breakfast.

Loki does not look up from his bowl of cereal, instead choosing to growl as Steve tilts his head to the side to get a look. Whilst Loki appreciate the metal man’s hospitality, he has spent most of the last moon and a half hidden in his room, recovering. The emerald amulet the Elves had gifted him with was draining. Loki found that he was constantly exhausted and for the first couple of weeks the Avengers had chosen to allow him his privacy. But then Banner had grown worried and kept popping into Lokis room until Loki decided that getting up for at least a few hours each day was the only way of keeping them off his back. He had not seen much of Midgard since his arrival but neither did he care all that much. He was here to birth his child in a neutral land, a place where no one would attempt to lay claim to the child as their own.

“Wow. You are.” Steve comments, a silly smile on his face.

Loki rolls his eyes disdainfully and drains his bowl before quickly reaching for another one.

“Fruit Loops aren’t exactly the most nutritious thing a pregnant person could eat.” Natasha points out casually. “Wanna try some fruit and yogurt?”

Loki watches her suspiciously before nodding his assent. Natasha quickly chops up some berries, throws in some nuts and pours yogurt over the top.

“Here ya go.” She announces, handing the bowl to Loki.

Loki relaxes when he sees the contents.

“Yes, we have this on Asgard, although our fruits are a lot more golden.” He mutters, ignoring the pang in his chest when he remembers the deliciously sweet apples of Asgard.

The child stirs within his stomach unpleasantly and Loki places a calmly hand on him, muttering and whispering under his breath. Steve watches with wide eyes as the amulet around Lokis neck glows a vibrant green and for a brief second, so do the tips of his fingers. His child quietens and Loki turns his attention back to his breakfast.

“He’s gonna be a demanding little guy, huh?” Steve comments.

Loki allows himself a small smile and nods.

“Like his father.”

Xox

They sit in silence as their carriage makes its way through Alfheim. Thor never thought there would be a day where he would have nothing to say to Sif. He glances at her in all her finery and thinks it sad that such a beautiful woman would be wasted on him in a sexless marriage. He thinks Sif wants to have sex. For the past couple of nights she has come to bed with fewer clothes on and more intricate braids in her hair. She sleeps closer to Thor, her bare legs sometimes touching his. Thor thinks that he would like to but he cannot decide if it is because it has been so long since he last indulged himself or because he feels sorry for her. Either way, he knows it is wrong for him to sleep with her for those reasons. How Loki would tease him if he knew. He would be merciless with that silver tongue of his, driving in dagger after dagger of truths. He wishes Sif would fight him. He wishes she would just attack him for all he has done wrong and let that be that. But she is punishing him with silence and it is more painful than any physical damage she has ever caused him.

The carriage pulls up outside the castle and Thor watches as Queen Aeltri and her son, Hrinmeer, stand before them; tall, elegant, blonde creatures with eyes so bright that they look like sapphires. 

“Welcome, Thor Odinson and his bride.” Aeltri says warmly as Thor and Sif make their way up the golden steps to greet them. “We were beginning to think that you would not come.”

Thor laughs uncomfortably and bows before the queen.

“I am afraid we were much too busy until now. I must thank you for your hospitality.”

Aeltri smiles warmly and kisses his cheek.

“Oh, the Sons of Odin have such impeccable manners, do you not?” Aeltri whispers as she drags her lips away from his cheek.

Thor frowns in confusion but does not comment as he shakes Hrinmeers hand.

“You are quite the contrast to your brother, are you not?” he marvels, taking Thor in.

The frown on Thors face deepens but once again he remains silent, following the Elves inside uncertainly.

Xox

Loki dreams of Thor. He dreams of feather-light touches followed by kisses that steal the very essence of his soul. He imagines Thor finding him, apologizing and begging for forgiveness. He remembers the way Thor took him against the wall, time after time and when Loki is awoken by JARVIS announcing the arrival of Captain America, Loki is touch-starved and desperate. So desperate that he thinks he looks hard enough he can pretend that the soldier is actually his beautiful God of Thunder.

“Hey, didn't mean to wake you but we’re all gonna head down-”

Steve falls silent however when Loki steps out of his bed, all long legs and smooth skin, and notices that the god is hard and is looking at him hungrily, his green eyes flashing with longing and desire. Loki saunters over to him and runs one long finger down the center of his chest, causing him to shudder.

"Um. Loki." Steve stutters, his cheeks flushing a deep red.

Loki smirks knowingly and leans closer, his lips but a breath away when he suddenly doubles over in pain. His hands fly to his stomach and he starts to pant loudly.

“Oh, Jesus!” Steve whimpers. “Are you going into labour?”

Loki twists his face and looks up at Steve, panting harshly, sweat breaking out across his greasy forehead and Steve realizes that Loki does not look well.

“Are you an imbecile? Help me back into bed!” he snaps.

Steve nods and helps lift Loki into bed. He decides that Loki’s lithe figure is deceptive. Loki may look like he weighs the same as a bag of sugar but in reality it is like lifting two tonnes of marble. He helps the prince back into bed and notices that the amulet is glowing once again and Loki is whispering under his breath. He looks down at the god and longs to stroke his smooth cheek. Loki opens his eyes once the pain has subsided and offers Steve a weak smile.

“Sorry. He is very protective of his father.”

Steve smiles.

“That’s sweet.”

Loki raises an eyebrow and shakes his head.

“It really is not. Even when he is absent, Thor is able to control me.” Loki sighs bitterly.

Steve frowns as he slowly makes the connection.

“Thor… as in your brother, Thor?”

Lokis eyes flash as he senses Steves disapproval, perhaps even disgust.

“He is not my brother by blood.” 

Loki wonders why he feels the need to explain himself to a worthless Midgardian who could not possibly understand what it is like to love one person for all your centuries. Steve nods and says no more, instead choosing to sit down beside Loki and stare at his slightly rounded stomach.

“It must be hard… Being here when everything you know is in Asgard.” He says softly.

Loki shrugs and rubs his hand in circles around his stomach.

“It would have been much harder to stay.”

Xox

Laufey turns to Ilnir, his sorcerer, and watches him expectantly. The slighter Frost Giant sighs and nods.

“He is indeed with child and there can be no doubt that Odinson is the father.”

Laufey hisses and drags his claw-like nails along the side of his throne, a terrible noise echoing around the vast throne room. His dark red eyes flash dangerously and he shakes his head in frustration.

“If the trickster is in Midgard it will be too difficult for us to reach him.” He mutters.

His eldest son, Helbindi, steps forward, his eyes gleaming.

“We could smoke him out, could we not? We know that it is Elvish magic that keeps the child alive. If we were to start tampering with it, forcing him to his Jotnar form, he would have no choice but to return to one of the other realms.” Helbindi points out.

Ilnir shakes his head.

“Too risky. The Midgardians could kill him on the spot. Or he could seek refuge in Asgard."

Laufey makes a deep growling sound.

“No one shall harm him! We need to make him ours.” 

Helbindi plays with the necklace of fangs dangling around his neck and shrugs his massive shoulders.

“He is ours already, is he not? Why do we not invite him to Jotunheim? Asgard has cast him aside, surely the runt is in need of some allies?” he suggests.

Ilnir snaps his fingers, a bright smile on his face.

“More than allies, he needs a family and a place to call his own!" he exclaims happily, looking towards his king in delight.

Laufey hum uncertainly. He does not know if he is ready to set eyes on the runt that murdered his mate.

Xox

Sif watches on as Thor slips into the warm pools, his broad, tanned back slowly being engulfed by the azure waters. Aeltri sits with her, a bemused smile on her face as she inspects the rather impressive muscles that make up Thor Odinson’s body. Her son, Hrinmeer, paddles alongside the king, his blonde hair spanning out behind him in the waters.

“Do you wish to join them?” Sif asks politely.

Aeltri raises an eyebrow and shake her head.

“I do not. I despise getting wet.”

Sif smiles softly and turns her attention back to the men. Thor is looking at her and the expression on his face is strange. Their eyes meet and Sif thinks that she can feel a spark of lust but that is quickly quenched when she notices the sadness around the corners of his eyes. The shine that usually shone from his open face was now muted by something that Sif couldn't quite put her finger on. Aeltri notices this as well and sighs.

“He is a most unsettled man, is he not? Oh, the stories we heard of Thor the Brave, the Bright, the Sun of Asgard… it seems now as if they were tall-tales, does it not?” She lilts quietly.

Sif casts her a suspicious look but does not rise to the bait.

“His lover was here, you know.” She continues in a bored tone. “In quite a desperate state, I would like to add. I helped the poor boy as much as I could but I fear that I did not do enough to wade off others that have taken an interest in the stranded prince. He would be quite the asset to any kingdom, especially with the child of Thor growing in his belly.”

Aeltri falls silent for a moment as Sif stiffens up in anger. She watches her with a knowing smile and pats her hand gently.

“You shall always feel this way, my darling. No matter how many children he sires with you, his first shall always belong with him and it is the firstborn who takes the crown, is it not?” She purrs.

Sif slaps her hand away and turns to glare at the Elven queen.

“I care not for this conversation.” She spits angrily.

Aeltri raises an eyebrow coolly and smirks at Sif.

“I care not for your sham of a marriage. It is not a marriage until he consummates it, do you think he does not know this? By Asgardian law he may abandon you as long as he has not taken your purity. And he has not. So. Best mount him as soon as possible, if you ask me, otherwise he may just find his little prince and mount him instead.” Aeltri whispers unkindly.

Sif stares at her, clearly shocked and hurt.

“I have done naught to offend you and yet you-”

“You are an obstruction, Lady Sif; that is all. You may have slowed Thor down but you have not stopped his love for Loki and shame on you for marrying the oaf and allowing the prince to flee his own kingdom when he is with child. It takes a special kind of person to allow such a thing to happen; a coward.” She hisses as she stands to her feet gracefully.

Aeltri claps her hands causing Thor to spin around in the water. He is smiling as he turns but that soon falters when he sees the pinched look on Lady Aeltris beautiful face.

“I am afraid that Lady Sif is feeling unwell. She wishes to return to Asgard.” She declares before turning on her heel and gliding back to the castle.

Sif feels like clawing his eyes out when she sees a look of disappointment flash across Thors face. She gets to her feet and marches back to the carriage, her head spinning from every cruel word Aeltri had uttered.

Xox

Loki lies in bed and grimaces as another cramp seizes his body. The amulet glows brightly but flickers continuously, causing the cramps to become more severe. Loki hisses through his clenched teeth and digs his fingers into the sheets below him.

“My God, shall I call Dr. Banner?” JARVIS calls out in concern.

Loki shakes his head adamantly.

“There is not much your Midgardian doctor can do for me.” He gasps as a particularly painful cramp nearly causes him to cry out.

“What about Steve?”

Loki falters for a moment before nodding.

“Yes please.”

Xox 

When Steve comes in he does not say anything. He just crawls onto the bed carefully and lies still, waiting for Loki to curl under his arm and fall asleep. Loki does not tell him that when he shoves his nose into his hair, he casts a simple spell that allows him to imagine that Steve smells like Thor. When he runs a hand down Steves firm chest, Loki pretends that it is his brothers skin he is touching and when he allows Steve to kiss him, Loki closes his eyes and sees Thors cerulean eyes watching him longingly.


	9. In The Depths Of Your Despair

Odin stands by Heimdall, his one good eye focused on the gate-keeper with the kind of intensity that would scare a much lesser being. Heimdall remains unfazed, however, and holds his kings gaze calmly.

“Your Highness, I would never try to deceive you or King Thor. I speak nothing but the truth when I say that no, I cannot locate Prince Loki.” Heimdall explains patiently.

Odin shakes his head adamantly. 

“That is impossible! He is with child; his magic would not be strong enough to cloak himself and the child from your eyes.”

Heimdall sighs and takes a step closer to the ex-king, an unhappy look on his face. Odin watches him fearfully but he dares him to utter the words that he is too afraid to ask. Heimdall places a strong hand on Odins shoulders and watches him grimly.

“Perhaps he is not cloaking himself. Perhaps I cannot see him for he is dead.”

Xox

Natasha clears her throat loudly and fixes Steve with a firm look. 

“I know.” She announces.

Steve looks up from his book, a bewildered expression on his face. He glances around the room, obviously looking for back up but the rest of the team are nowhere to be seen.

“Actually.” She continues. “The whole team knows.”

Steve puts his book down on the counter and raises an eyebrow quizzically.

“The whole team knows what?” he asks.

Natasha rolls her eyes and places her hand over Steves.

“You don’t have to play dumb with me, Steve. I’m not judging you; I’m just a little concerned. We all are.”

Steve looks at her helplessly.

“I’m not playing!” He insists. “What do you know?”

He watches as she heaves a sigh and exhales loudly, an unhappy look on her pretty face.

“That you’re having sex with Loki.” She announces bluntly.

A blush rushes to Steve's cheeks so quickly that for a second Natasha thinks he’s having an aneurysm. He clears his throat a few times and coughs loudly, obviously struggling to find his voice. Finally, he swallows loudly and fixes her with a pleading look.

“We’re not having sex. I’ve kissed him a few times but that’s it.” He swears, his blue eyes wide and honest.

Natasha raises an eyebrow uncertainly.

“You sleep in his room most nights. JARVIS told Tony.”

Steve silently curses both Stark and his stupid JARVIS and pulls a face.

“Ok, if I tell you this you have to promise me that you won’t tell anyone else.” He warns.

She nods quickly, eager for information.

“I spend most nights in his room but all I do is hold him. He has terrible nightmares; something about Frost Giants and thunderstorms… he can only sleep if someone holds him so. I do it.” He explains with a shrug.

“And the kissing? Is that to help him sleep too?” She challenges with a smirk, only half teasing.

Steve blushes once again and scratches the back of his neck uncomfortably.

“No. That’s just me being selfish.” He says softly.

xox

Frigga raises her eyebrows in surprise when she enters Thor and Sifs martial chamber and sees that the room has been stripped of Sifs belongings. Her eldest stands by his window, his back to her and the servants that rush about the room. Frigga clears her throat and all of them scarper out of the room, leaving her alone with her son. Thor does not turn to face her; he continues to stare out at the orchard in the palace gardens, his shoulders hunched and tense.

“Dare I ask why Lady Sif is no longer residing here?” she asks quietly.

Thor snorts but does not answer his mother. Frigga sighs and sits down on one of the iron chairs by the dressing table. She had feared that something like this would happen, that Thor would drive Sif away.

“Sometimes marriage is hard.” Frigga begins. “It can take some time to adjust to and-”

“Heimdall thinks that Loki and my child are dead.” Thor announces, finally turning to face his mother. “He came to me this morning and told me as much.”

Frigga watches Thor blankly, a slow frown beginning to cloud her face. Her head jerks as though she has been slapped and she leans back into the sit, all the colour draining from her cheeks.

“N-no. I would feel it. He is my son, I would know!” She insists.

Thor shrugs his great shoulders and turns back to face the window.

“He was not your son.” He states simply, ignoring the tight feeling in his chest. "You made that much abundantly clear."

Xox

Ilnir kneels by Laufeys feet, his eyes closed and his thin lips pressed together tightly. He holds a green amulet, identical to the one that Loki wears, in his hands and he rocks back and forth, jerking a little with the effort of it all. Laufey waits patiently. His eldest son and crowned prince, Helbindi does not. He practically vibrates beside him, his excitement is so great. Finally Ilnir drops the amulet and looks up at Laufey, his cloudy eyes becoming clearer as he forces himself back to reality.

“Well?” Helbindi exclaims. “Spit it out!”

Laufey rolls his eyes but he does not chastise his son for he is just as anxious to hear. Ilnir clears his throat and begins to speak.

“His children grow stronger each day. They are a little past three moons and are developing at a slower pace than one would expect with a Halfblood. Loki, however, is growing weaker. He is finding it difficult to maintain his Midgardian form, even with the help of Elvish magic. He is tired and his mind is weak and would be easy to penetrate.” Ilnir states.

Helbindi cackles with glee.

“So, it would not be difficult to lure him to Jotunheim and hand him over to the oaf of Asgard?” He exclaims with delight.

Laufey throws him a rather violent look and holds up a hand to stop Ilnir from answering.

“Is his lack of Jotun form harming the babes?” he inquires.

Ilnir twists his mouth uncertainly.

“I could not say for sure, my King, but it certainly does not help. He would be much better if he were in his natural state.” 

Laufey rubs his lips with the tips of his fingers thoughtfully before standing from his throne.

“I require some time to think.” He announces as he begins to walk down the great steps of the throne room.

Ilnir and Helbindi nod, both knowing that the decision to act was Laufeys.

Xox

Bruce gently places the cool head of the stethoscope against Loki's slightly protruding belly. He smiles softly as the god inhales sharply, causing his stomach to jump. Bruce frowns as he listens for the sounds of a heartbeat. First of all there is not one heartbeat but two and secondly the two sets sound like drums; strong, loud and bold. Bruce straightens up and offers Loki a kind smile.

"You've got two strong, healthy babies in there, Loki." He announces warmly, his dark eyes twinkling.

Loki frowns and places a hand over the small swell of his abdomen.

"Two?" He whispers, clearly confused.

He had only ever felt one, in all four moons he had only felt one life squirm beneath the touch of his palm. But now he could feel it; the unmistakable pull of another being developing within him. Loki's stomach flips. Two brothers, two future kings.

"Two." Bruce confirms, dropping his own hand onto the gods belly, his eyes widening slightly.

Bruce hums unhappily as he runs his hands up and down Lokis stomach. He bites his lip and presses his fingers against the swell firmly, his eyes clouded with something that Loki does not like. The doctor takes a step back and goes to rummage in his medicine bag whilst Loki watches him anxiously. He comes out with a thermometer and pops it into Lokis mouth.

“This will tell me your core body temperature, okay? Your skin is like ice.” He says gently, resting a hand on the small bump of Lokis stomach.

Loki rolls his eyes and ignores the violent hammering of his heart. If his temperature is dropping then it means the amulet is losing power. He’s felt it for a while now. He has grown much weaker, lacking the strength to do even simple tasks. He closes his eyes and pushes down the surge of panic bubbling in the back of his throat. The Elvish power is nowhere near as strong as he had originally hoped. 

Bruce gently takes the stick out of Lokis mouth. His eyes widen slightly when he reads the temperature. Loki cracks one eye open and winces.

“How low?” he asks softly.

“Below freezing.” Bruce answers, an awed look on his face.

Loki sighs heavily and pulls his tunic down, an anxious look on his face.

“I am worried about my babes.” He concedes, his brow furrowing.

The doctor nods sympathetically and places a hand on Lokis shoulder, a genuine look on his face.

“I promise you that I will do everything to help your little guys, okay?”

Loki says nothing, a despondent look on his face.

“Loki.” Bruce urges. “I promise.”

Loki meets his gaze and nods once, still not quite believing. He has had enough broken promises to last him an eternity.

Xox

As Odin walks around the palace grounds, he admits that he had always known. Young Thor was not a very subtle Thor and Happy Loki was a most flamboyant creature. He could remember standing in the gardens one night, long after the sun had set and coming across them in an embrace that had rocked him to his core. They had been kissing lazily and with a familiarity that had sickened Odin. He had forced himself to turn around once he heard the quiet gasps and soft moans. It had burned him so. It had been irrational but he had blamed Loki for no reason other than he was ethereally beautiful. Loki had always been highly refined and delicate, despite being a Frost Giant. Odin had wracked his brains searching for a suitable punishment. That was when he had decided that Loki would be trained in magic and magic alone whereas Thor would become one of the greatest warriors ever to have guided Asgard. He had separated them and had always believed that he had done so effectively, always ignoring the whispers and rumors about the Sons of Odin. 

He wishes he had listened now. He wishes that he had listened to Lokis declaration of love for Thor. Maybe then his heart would not have to carry the weight of knowing that he murdered his own grandchild.

Xox

Steve massages Lokis shoulders as the god sits between his legs, his back resting against the soldier’s chest. Loki has a bowl of ice-cream balanced on the slight swell of his stomach and he watches the television vacantly, his mind clearly somewhere else. They do not speak. Steve gently kneads the tense muscles and tries to find something clever to say but it as if his tongue is swollen; he feels foolish and clumsy. He feels even worse when Loki turns in his arms so that he is facing Steve, an emotionless mask on his face, his eyes dead, his voice a carefully constructed monotone.

“You may have your kiss now.” He announces.

Steve blushes a horrible shade of red and goes to push the demigod away but Loki presses himself against Steve, his eyes looking off over his shoulder as he gently places his lips over Steves. Steve fights back a groan as he wraps his arms around Lokis waist, pulling him closer as he deepens the kiss. Guilt bubbles and burns his stomach, especially when he knows that Loki sees this as a way of repayment for Steve’s kindness but he forces all thoughts of morality away. For now all he wants is to hold the delicate prince against him and pretend for a moment that he could own something so beautiful.

xox

Sif looks up from her book as Thor enters the room, a stormy expression on his face. He slams the door behind him causing the mirrors to shake. A roll of thunder erupts outside and Sif closes her book swiftly, preparing herself for battle.

“Yes?” She asks coolly.

Thor growls and pulls her off the bed roughly, his fingers digging into her arms painfully. He truly is a beast when he is in a rage. His blue eyes are much sharper than usual, his breath hot like the air before lightning strikes. Sif readies herself, craving a fight, longing for a battle worthy of them.

“You humiliated me in Alfheim. You betray me even further when you demand your own chambers. Then you refused to dine with a family that is in mourning. You are no better than a whore.” He spits before pushing her away violently so that she stumbles.

Sif regains her balance and glares at him with such venom that Thor licks his lips nervously.

“Why would I stay in those chambers only to be constantly reminded each night that you do not wish to consummate our marriage?” She challenges. “Why would I allow myself to be shamed night after night?”

Thor snorts and clenches his fists dangerously.

“You are the one that guilted me into this marriage! You forced me to become king! I would have happily fled with Loki and if I had he would still be alive now.” Thor snaps.

Sif rolls her eyes and drops to a crouch, preparing for the inevitable.

“You allowed him to flee quite willingly, Thor! No matter what you say, everyone in this palace knows that you would have been ashamed to have your brother as your queen.” She accuses. “ And now you play the martyr, the poor king who has been forced into a life he does not want… Spare a thought for me, your Highness! Spare a thought for the woman whose life and honour you have destroyed!”

Thor roars a deep guttural sound and charges at Sif, knocking her to the ground. He pins her down but she quickly retaliates by bashing her forehead against his nose. Thor curses and raises a hand to slap her across the face.

“That was a dirty move.” She pants, her eyes sparkling dangerously. “The Trickster really has influenced you.”

“A dirty move for a dirty whore.” Thor snarls and pretends that he does not notice the way Sif flinches.

Sif bucks her hips up in a bid to throw off the king but when that does not work; she sinks her teeth into Thors forearm. The large man bellows and releases his grip allowing Sif to slip away. The warrioress raises her leg swiftly and kicks Thor into the side of his head causing him to fall sideways, blindsided by the attack. Sif quickly jumps him and pins him to the ground with all her strength. She is about to slap the king when she notices the tears in his eyes. Her grip does not loosen but her gaze softens and she eyes Thor uncertainly. The blonde haired god gives a great shuddering gasp, tears quickly beginning to roll down his cheeks.

“I can only apologise for all the grief I have caused.” He sobs, his face twisted in a perfect mask of sorrow.

Sif feels her own eyes burn as she lowers her lips to her husband’s forehead. She kisses him chastely and then burrows her head into the side of his neck, peppering his hot skin with light, soothing kisses.

“You do not mean to cause pain.” She murmurs. “Loki knows that as well as I.”

She releases her grip and Thor slowly wraps his arms around her waist, cradling her against his chest carefully.

"I do not deserve this." He chokes. "I do not deserve to be loved."  
xox

Ilnir hands Laufey the emerald amulet almost reluctantly.

“If you place it around your neck you can enter his mind. You can control it; not yet. The magic is not strong enough but for now you can see his memories, feel his emotions and perhaps plant a few ideas but that is all.” He says with a disappointed sigh.

Laufey chuckles as he raises the amulet above his head and lets it drop onto his neck.

“That is more than enough for now, Ilnir. Thank you.”

Xox

Bruce shakes his head in defeat and looks at Tony uncertainly.

“I don’t know. I mean, his anatomy is completely different from ours, from anything I have ever seen before.”

Tony mutters something under his breath and runs a hand through his hair.

“It would kill Steve, y’know?” He grumbles.

Natasha looks between them both unhappily.

“Isn’t there anything you can do?” she demands.

Bruce shrugs his shoulders weakly and drags a hand over his tired face.

“I’m trying, ‘Tasha. But they’re killing him. His skin is almost translucent he’s being stretched so much. It’s almost as if his body is incapable of carrying them. I’ve mentioned a termination in passing but he strongly opposed. There’s not much else I can do.” He says exasperatedly. 

“So we just sit here and watch him die?” She challenges.

Bruce nods grimly.

“Pretty much.”

Xox

Laufey walks through memories that are not his to see. A very young Loki rides past him on a white stallion, quickly followed by Thor on his brown steed. They are both laughing, the carefree laughter of two boys with no worries. Thor catches up with his sibling and grabs the reins, willing Loki's horse to a stop. Loki stops laughing and regards him petulantly.

“What are you doing, you oaf?” he demands.

Thor continues smiling, undeterred by his brothers hostility.

“You must be careful, little one. This is the first time you have ridden, you may hurt yourself.” Thor chides.

Laufey is about to laugh at Loki's incredulous face when a teenage Loki marches past him, a furious expression on his face. The King decides to follow him. Loki marches right up to an old oak door and knocks violently, the guards surrounding it looking away quickly. The door opens and an older Thor opens it with a knowing smile on his face.

“Evening brother.” He chuckles.

Loki makes a hissing sound, pushing past Thor viciously.

“Spare your pleasantries, brute.”

Thor laughs good-naturedly and wraps his arms around the smaller boy’s waist. Laufey notices the way Loki stiffens up and casts a nervous glance at the closed door. 

“I got your awful gift.” Loki snaps, shoving a small red box into Thor's chest.

The God of Thunder releases Loki so that he may hold the box, a much softer smile on his handsome face.

“Why did you bring it here? Do you not like it?” He questions.

Loki snorts and flicks his dark hair out of his face.

“An engagement ring? Thor, there are times when I fear your stupidity.” Loki growls, folding his arms across his chest.

Thor's smile does not falter as he watches Loki bemusedly.

“You said you wished to marry me.” He points out.

Laufey turns and watches the mixture of emotions that flit across his youngest child’s face. Loki opens his mouth but he is speechless. Thor grins triumphantly and pops the box open to reveal an intricate silver band. Thor drops to one knee and Loki erupts with laughter. Peal after peal of joyous laughter that causes Laufey's heart to sing as he watches Thor pick up his smaller son and spin him around in circles. Laufey turns and opens the door only to be faced with yet another memory. An older Loki is standing in front of a mirror, his skin a brilliant shade of blue, his eyes a vibrant red. Laufey gasps and reaches out to touch his beautiful son but his hand passes through him easily. The Loki before him watches his reflection curiously, his gaze steady and calm. Thor appears from behind Loki and wraps his arms around his lovers waist, dropping a kiss to the blue skin of his shoulder.

“You are most beautiful like this.” He whispers softly.

Loki smiles, a smile so bright that Laufey's chest aches.

“You are a liar, Thor Odinson.” He teases, his eyes glittering with mirth. “You told me that all Frost Giants are beasts.”

Thor chuckles and watches Loki through the mirror.

“Beasts may be beautiful also.” He argues, resting his chin on Loki's shoulder. “And you are the most ferocious and beautiful of them all.”

Loki turns to press his lips to the blondes and Laufey decides to side-step the lovers, his chest aching with emotions he did not expect, some he did not even recognize. He continues down through the palace until he reaches an old apple tree. Loki is sat beneath it, huddled underneath a silken cloak, sobbing loudly. His lithe frame wracks with the effort of each sob, each breath sounding more broken and desperate than the one before it. Laufey takes a step back, a lump forming in the back of his throat. He spins on his heel and suddenly he is in a simply decorated room. Outside the window the city of New York sprawls out before him. He turns his head when he hears a gasp of pain, watching his terribly pale son clutching his stomach. Loki is crying, desperately trying to shush and calm the children within him. Laufey does a double-take when he sees him, reminding him terribly of his own mate before he died. Loki emits a low, guttural sound causing Laufey to be brought back to that awful winter morning when his youngest was birthed. He looks at Loki's emerald eyes, filled with unshed tears and Laufey feels as if he cannot breathe.

“Enough!” Laufey bellows. “Wake me up!”

He watches his youngest double-over in pain and shakes his head. It’s too much, he decides, much too much. But he knows what it is he must do. 

Xox

When Laufey opens his eyes again, Ilnir is watching him excitedly.

“It is wonderful, is it not?” he declares.

“Have you found a way to manipulate him?” Helbindi demands.

“Get me Thor Odinson.” Laufey orders, shocking both men into silence.

Laufey turns away from their surprised expressions. He may have shamed his mate and abandoned his youngest babe before but he would not do so again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. I hope this going okay? Let me know! I'm kind of nervous about the direction this is taking! <3


	10. Catch Me If You Can

Tony grimaces as Loki walks into the room stiffly. The young prince looks hollow, as though there is nothing inside of him like one of those porcelain dolls. As if one good push could be fatal, as if he would crumble in his hands if Tony held him too tight. There is a bluish tinge to his skin and his eyes are dull, lifeless and lacking the spark that had been in them that first day they had met. All the mischief and life has been drained from him and it is horrible. Natasha catches his eye and Tony knows that she is just as unhappy as he is. Loki folds himself into the sofa, his skin shining with sweat and grease from his exertion. Steve is hovering by his side, his face pinched with anxiety.

“Loki?” Bruce asks cautiously as he rises from his seat and makes his way over to the god. “I’m just going to take your blood pressure, ok?”

Loki looks up at him wearily and proffers him his arm. Steve sits down beside him and watches as Bruce unpacks his medical bag. Tony shakes his head and marches over to the soldier.

“Can I have a word?” He asks through clenched teeth. “In private?”

Steve frowns in confusion.

“Can’t it wait?”

Tony grabs the bigger man by his upper man.

“It really can’t.” He declares as he drags Steve out of the room.

“I’ll be back in a minute.” Steve promises Loki over his shoulder.

Loki doesn’t even acknowledge that Steve has spoken, never mind spare him a glance as he leaves the room. Tony mutters under his breath as he leads Steve down the corridor, as far away from the living room as possible. Steve finally pulls his arm out of Tony’s grip and glares at the shorter man.

“What is it?” he demands impatiently.

Tony exhales noisily and leans against the wall behind him. He looks at Steve with sad, brown eyes. The soldier bites his lip, his shoulders slouching and shakes his head.

“I know, ok? I know exactly what you are going to say!” He declares miserably.

Tony smirks and raises an eyebrow.

“I don’t think you do but while we’re on the subject of what I think you think I’m going to say; stay away from the pregnant prince of impossibly chiselled cheekbones and ridiculously smooth hair.” He warns, pushing his index finger against Steve’s chest. “It’s only going to end in tears. Horrible, black, bloody tears that will most definitely be yours.”

Steve bows his head, clearly upset. Tony claps him on the shoulder and smiles gently.

“You know I’m right.” He insists. “He needs to go home to people that actually know how to deal with a pregnant god.”

Steve drags a hand over his face and sighs miserably. He leans his head against the wall behind him and holds Tony’s gaze. He knows that he needs to let go. Loki isn’t interested in him in the slightest. Loki doesn’t care about him; he only cares about his babies and the lover he’s left behind in Asgard. Steve thinks he can understand that. He knows that Loki only tolerates his company because he’s weak and vulnerable and in an unfamiliar and alien environment. But he also knows that Loki has no choice in the matter.

“He won’t go home. He can’t.” Steve announces.

Tony gives him a curious look.

“What did he do up there?” He asks, genuinely interested. 

Steve swallows hard before he answers.

“Slept with his brother and got pregnant with his child.” He mumbles.

Tony’s entire face goes slack before he bursts out laughing.

“Oh, Steve! Wow. I mean. Wow. You sure do know how to pick ‘em, bud.”

Xox

“I do not think I can live like this for much longer.” Sif whispers to Fandral as he sharpens the blade of sword beside her.

For the first time in almost five months they are in the battling arena, practicing and training like they had before everything. Thor is in the middle of a rather violent battle between both Hogun and Volstaag. Fandral raises an eyebrow and gives Sif a questioning look.

“Has he yet to…” He gestures with his hands.

Sif half-smiles and pushes her friend playfully.

“We have not even kissed truly.” Sif sighs.

Fandral looks surprised but he does not say as much, something for which Sif is grateful. He twists his mouth thoughtfully and leans closer to Sif.

“Have you tried to get his attention?”

Sif frowns in annoyance.

“I should not have to try and get his attention! He is my husband and if he were in any way lusting after me he would have acted by now.” She snaps.

Fandral shrugs and goes back to his weapon, wincing when Volstaag takes a particularly violent punch from Thor.

“Sif, the whole kingdom knows that his heart belongs to another, you will never have his heart but you may have his body if you try to entice him.” He explains calmly.

Sif glares at him and shakes her head, her long dark hair shimmering as she does so.

“I do not want his body without his heart.” She says exasperatedly.

Fandral looks at his friend with gentle eyes and pats her knee softly.

“Then I am afraid you shall not have him. Dead or alive, Loki shall always be his first love.”

Xox

Helbindi growls as Heimdall forces him to remain on the Bifrost.

“I shall alert King Thor of your arrival but you must stay here until I say otherwise.” He orders.

The Frost Giant snarls but does as he is told. Helbindi may be quick to attack but only when the only thing at stake is his own life. So much more weighs on this visit. Helbindi needs to convince the King of Loki’s whereabouts and then invite him to Jotunheim to return the Casket. Heimdall watches him closely as he calls on Thor and waits none too patiently. It is not long, however, until there is the sound of the cantering hooves of an army. Helbindi rolls his eyes; he had specifically requested that Thor show up alone and unarmed.

“You do not trust me.” He points out as at least fifty guards flank the king.

Heimdall bows his head.

“I beg your pardon sir, but Thor is our king; we cannot be too careful.”

Helbindi sniffs and watches as the great oaf jumps down from his stallion, practically running towards him. Helbindi comes forward and offers Thor a mocking bow.

“Your Highness.” He sneers. 

Thor, to his surprise, nearly kneels at his feet, his blue eyes wide and pleading.

“Do not tease me, Helbindi Laufeyson. Have you news of Loki?” he urges.

Helbindi frowns slightly before nodding.

“Aye. My father has located him.”

Thor’s eyes fill with tears and Helbindi wrinkles his nose in disgust. The God of Thunder turns to Heimdall and throws his arms around the taller man, laughing a loud booming laugh.

“I cannot tell you how relieved I am that for once you were wrong!” He chuckles.

Heimdall pats Thor on the back stiffly, keeping his eyes on Helbindi.

“Where is he?” The Gate-Keeper asks.

Helbindi smirks and taps the side of his nose with one long, blue finger.

“For this to be revealed, Odinson must travel to Jotunheim with the Casket and present it to my father.”

The guards behind Thor hiss and a few take a step forward, awaiting the word from their king. Thor shocks them all by nodding.

“Yes, yes of course. I shall have the Casket brought behind us. You and I may go ahead.” Thor says urgently, stepping towards Helbindi.

Fandral steps forward and places a hand on Thor’s shoulder.

“With all due respect, your Highness, you must be more vigilant. Take us with you; do not travel alone.” He whispers.

Thor is about to open his mouth to protest when Sif comes forward, her warrior dress on her, her hair loose and wild like it was before. She takes Thor’s hand in hers and looks at him firmly.

“You are too vulnerable to go alone. You take the warriors with you; some men may come later with the Casket.” She orders. “And you take a moment to think, Thor. Loki has always known his way home, perhaps you need to try and remember that he does not want to return.”

“Your wife is right.” Odin’s voice booms as he seemingly appears out of nowhere. “However, I have decided that we would best not listen to common sense or reason on this particular mission. This shall not be a physical battle but rather a battle of the heart and I hope, my dear boy, that you are prepared for everything that Silversmith shall throw at you.”

Xox

Odin watches as the guards carry the Casket out of its chambers, where it has lain for centuries and feels a weight lift off his shoulders. He turns to Frigga, his wife whom has suddenly aged many years that have not yet passed.

“There is hope.” He decides.

Frigga links arms with her husband and rests her head against his shoulder.

“We made a terrible mistake.” She whispers.

Odin sighs and drops a kiss to his wife’s forehead.

“We did.”

Xox

Steve chews on his lip almost manically as he watches Loki grimace in pain with each breath. He runs a hand through his hair, mussing up his usually tidy blonde locks and tries to ignore the sounds of Loki’s labored breathing. Bruce murmurs something under his breath as his runs his hands up and down Loki’s stomach. Loki groans and tries to swat the doctor’s hands away.

“Stop it! Stop!” He demands.

Bruce raises an eyebrow and continues to examine Loki’s stomach. Loki feels as if he is being stabbed by multiple daggers, twisting and turning in his gut. A particularly violent cramp strikes him and Loki shoots up, pushing Bruce away with all his strength. Banner flies across the room, slamming into the wall behind him with a great thud. Steve gasps and turns to look at Loki who was doubled over on the bed, close to tears. Bruce sighs quietly and slowly picks himself up. He walks over to Loki but the prince squares his shoulders and glares at the doctor.

“Do not! Do not touch them! You're scaring them! They know what you really are, you monster!” Loki snarls, his long, dark hair falling across his face.

Bruce blinks owlishly before taking a step back. Steve stares at Loki in shock, unable to believe the hatred that had dripped from his words. Tony clears his throat, announcing his arrival and steps into the room, his gaze level and calm as he approaches Loki. He nods at Steve and he knows what's coming. Tony sighs and offers Loki a soft smile.

“Think it’s time you thought about heading home, buddy. Banner is too scared to tell you this but your little gods are killing you and we’re just not equipped to deal with that kind of drama.” He says gently.

Steve thinks his heart breaks a little when he sees the look of hurt and betrayal on Loki’s face.

“You are banishing me?” He whispers, his eyes wide and wet.

Tony shakes his head and drops down to a crouch in front of the prince. He looks up at Loki kindly and places a hand on his knee lightly. Loki turns his head away and closes his eyes.

“I’m asking you not to kill yourself. I know some weird shit went down between you and your brother but-”

Tony falls silent however when tears begin to leak out from behind Loki’s closed eyelids. He turns around and looks at Steve and Bruce desperately. Steve sighs and takes a step forward, sitting down beside Loki on the bed. The prince grabs his hand, entwining their fingers and opens his tear-filled eyes, a mournful look on his face.

“You won’t cast my aside, will you?” He croaks.

Steve swallows audibly and can feel himself getting lost in those magical eyes. He turns to look at Tony who’s glaring at him, silently urging him on. Steve glances down at their entwined fingers and smiles gently.

“No. If you think staying here is the best thing for your babies then you stay here. But if you know that returning is the Asgard is the right thing then that’s what you need to do.”

Xox

Thor, Sif, Fandral and Hogun all walk alongside Helbindi silently. It is bitterly cold and none of them have enough energy to try and forge any kind of conversation with the Frost Giant. Helbindi almost skips ahead of them, an uncharacteristically wide smile on his face. He wants to laugh whenever he looks behind him and watches Asgard’s finest trudge along behind him stiffly and with cheeks so blue that they would almost pass as Jotnar. They march along through the unforgiving terrain until they reach a spectacularly carved glacier. Thor looks up at the intricate markings along the walls outside the palace and he is impressed. Once they step inside the palace they are almost blinded by the white and brightness of everything. It is pristine and proud, something Thor had not expected. The other three warriors are equally surprised, looking around them in awe.

“King Thor.” A deep voice chuckles. “You are eager.”

Thor looks up and bows slightly when he notices Laufey stepping in the hall. He walks over to Helbindi and stands beside his son with a small smile.

“I must thank you, Laufey. What you have done today will not be forgotten.” Thor says humbly.

Laufey waves a hand dismissively.

“It shall be; small tokens such as these are always forgotten with the passing of each century. But come, we have much to discuss.”

Xox

Loki lies with his back to Steve, his hands tucked under his cheeks, his eyes wide and tearful. Steve lies on his back and stares at the ceiling above him. They have not spoken in nearly two nights but neither has Loki kicked him out of his bed or asked him to leave. Steve clears his throat, getting ready to speak when Loki beats him to it.

“You can fuck me if you want. You can brand me as your own.” 

Steve freezes beside him and Loki closes his eyes, holding his breath, his heart hammering against his chest. He cannot return to Asgard and if allowing Steve to think that he is his is the only way of avoiding it then so be it. Steve coughs and tries to ignore the heat pooling in his stomach as he images taking Loki as his own. Loki looks over his shoulder at him, his lips parted and wet.

“If you want me you can take it. I am yours if you want me.”

Xox

Ilnir glares at Thor begrudgingly as Laufey leads him out of the palace to where Jotunheim keeps their own portal. Why they could not have fetched the runt themselves, he would never know. Laufey had seen a memory that had blinded him, Ilnir was sure of it. Thor raises an eyebrow, wondering if his father was aware of it. Laufey takes great strides and Thor nearly has to jog to keep pace with him, something that amuses Helbindi to no end. When they reach the portal Laufey fixes Thor with a heated glare.

“When you find the prince you must return him here until we have the Casket.” He orders.

Thor nods and places his hand on his chest.

“You have my word.”

Laufey snorts

“From what I have heard and seen the word of Thor Odinson is not something of great value.” He sneers.

Thor frowns but bows his head graciously.

“I swear it upon my unborn child that I shall return here to Jotunheim with Loki.” He promises.

Laufey arches an eyebrow and takes a step closer to Thor, towering above the Thunder God and drops his voice to a whisper so that they can only hear.

“Hurt my son, Odinson, and a war unlike any other shall be waged, understood?”

Thor nods.

“Understood.”

Xox

Loki squeezes his eyes shut as Steve looms above him, kissing him softly, his hands planted at either side of his head. The soldier touches him with a gentleness that frustrates Loki. He doesn’t deserve the man’s love or affections. All Loki has done is exploit them for his own needs. The soldier reaches between them and slowly lowers his hand towards Loki still flaccid cock. A wall-shaking rumble of thunder forces Loki to open his eyes, just as Steve grasps his member. Steve lets go as Loki jumps when a flash of lightening illuminates the room. Steve laughs gently when he sees the fear in Loki’s eyes. 

“Scared of a little thunder?” he teases.

Loki fixes him with a glare.

“I’m not overly fond of what follows.” He says dryly.

Steve frowns and his about to ask why when a blinding light flashes through the room, followed by a searing heat that forces Steve to bury his head in the side of Loki’s neck. He can hear Loki gasp as there’s a loud thud that shakes the entire room. Steve rolls off of the prince and when he opens his eyes again there is a large, bronzed, blonde, extremely angry god staring at them.

“Thor-” Loki starts to plead but he is silenced when the god bellows like a beast and points a finger at Steve.

“You dare bed my lover?” He roars, his face twisted with rage.

Steve stares at him in shock, his mouth hanging open.

“Answer me, mortal!” He yells.

“Thor!” Loki snaps, kicking back the covers and marching over to the other god. “Stop this.”

Thor drags his eyes away from Steve to look at his brother and he can feel his rage settling deep within his chest when he sees the defiant look on Loki’s face.

“Do not, Loki. I am in no humor.” He warns, gently pushing Loki aside so that he can make his way over to Steve who was now fully dressed and glowering at Thor.

Loki huffs a dark laugh and latches himself onto his brother’s arm.

“You dare come here and behave no better than a beast? You dare challenge my lover when you have been fucking her all this time?” he spits, digging his nails into Thor’s flesh.

Thor turns to face him with a growl and it is only then that Thor notices that Loki is naked. He rakes his eyes down his lithe form and stops when he sees the slight swell of his brother’s stomach. His blue eyes widen slightly as he stares, a lump forming in his throat.

“Loki…” He breathes, reaching out to place a hand on his belly.

Loki takes a swift step back, however, fixing Thor with his most venomous look.

“Do not!” He barks. “You have long since lost that right.”

Thor’s hand falls to his side limply and he watches Loki unhappily, his brows furrowed.

“You do not mean that.” He argues.

Loki raises one eyebrow archly.

“Don’t I?” He challenges.

Thor takes another step forward until there is no space between them, his cerulean blue eyes boring into Loki’s. He places on hand on the prince’s waist and Steve averts his gaze. It’s too much. It makes his chest ache. 

“Loki…” He whispers. “Let me touch you, let me show you how sorry I am.”

Loki looks up into Thor’s eyes and he can feel his body betraying him, his children squirming with delight to be near their father once more. He longs to wrap his arms around Thor and just break. He wants him to make love to him until he is stretched and contented. He wants to kiss him until he can no longer breathe, until his lungs beg and scream for oxygen. But he doesn’t. Loki takes one determined step backwards and fixes Thor with a steady gaze.

“As I said before; you have long since lost that right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. We're getting there guys, we are getting there! :D Thanks for all the lovage and keep it coming! Enjoy <3


	11. You Know You Make My Eyes Burn

Thor stares at Loki helplessly, his face crumpled and broken. He is speechless. He has not the skills that Loki has with words. He doesn’t know what it is he can say to show Loki how sorry he really is. He runs one great hand through his hair and carefully drops Mjolnir to the floor. He takes a deep breath and steps into Loki’s space once again, this time locking his arms around the smaller prince’s waist, a determined look on his face.

“Let me win back that right.” Thor demands.

Loki fights the urge to arch into Thor’s touch and regards him sceptically. 

“How?” he questions.

Thor smiles crookedly and flashes Steve an evil look.

“Let me fight your lover for the right to touch you.”

Loki almost smiles with amusement as he imagines the soldier taking on the God of Thunder. Steve shoots Loki a wide-eyed glance, not quite able to believe what’s happening. Before Loki can answer the bedroom door opens, allowing a very shocked group of Avengers to enter the room. Thor frowns and steps back from Loki, a quizzical look on his face as Clint points an arrow at his face.

“I take it you’re the baby daddy.” Tony announces, eyeing Thor with interest.

Natasha smirks, clearly impressed as she takes in Thor’s handsome figure. Thor nods, puffing his chest out with pride.

“Yes, Midgardian, I am Thor Odinson father of the child Loki Laufeyson is bearing.”

“Of the children.” Bruce corrects quietly.

Thor frowns and tilts his head to the side.

“Child.” Thor insists.

Bruce shakes his head.

“Loki is having twins.” He explains.

Thor’s head turns so quickly that each of the Avengers is surprised he doesn’t snap his neck.

“Is this true?” he demands.

Loki keeps his mouth closed defiantly and regards Thor with an icy look.

“Do you truly care?” he spits.

Thor’s squared shoulders drop to a slouch and he looks at Loki desperately.

“Loki.” He whispers softly, reaching out to hold the other god’s hand.

Loki allows him to entwine their fingers but still he does not answer Thor. Steve edges his way around the god’s and turns to the team, a forced smile on his face.

“Maybe we should let these guys talk.” He mutters.

Natasha nods and links her arm through Steve’s.

“C’mon. I just stocked up on brownie ice-cream and peanut brittle.”

Xox

Laufey sits on his throne, a bored expression on his face as he watches the Asgardian warriors and guards pace restlessly, awaiting their king’s return. Helbindi, who was sitting by his feet, sighs loudly and shoots his father an almost petulant glare.

“You said this would be fun.” He accuses.

Laufey snorts.

“I said no such thing.”

Helbindi rolls his eyes angrily and puts his head in his hands.

“I expected that at least one drop of blood would be spilled.” He says in disappointment.

Laufey smiles down at his eldest and allows himself a low chuckle.

“There is time yet. Odinson has yet to return with Loki.” He says calmly.

Helbindi sniffs disdainfully.

“Of course he’ll return with him. That runt is practically begging for that oaf to take him and fuck him again. I’m surprised the desperate whore lasted this long.”

Xox

As soon as the room empty’s the God of Thunder scoops Loki up in his arms and crushes him against his chest. Loki makes a squealing sound as the children inside of him almost burn with happiness. Thor presses his face against the side of Loki’s neck and peppers hot kisses all along the exposed flesh.

“I am sorry, I am sorrier than you could ever believe, brother!”

Loki growls and scratches at Thor’s arms angrily.

“Get off of me you oaf! I forbid you to touch me!” He snarls.

Thor freezes and faces Loki with a troubled expression.

“Do you hate me so?” He asks quietly, his arms still wound around the smaller prince.

Loki glares at him, practically shaking with fury.

“You cast me aside for that woman and a throne. You care not for me or your children.”

Thor sighs loudly and lets go of Loki, his blue eyes wet with hot tears. He takes a few steps away from him, shaking his head as he does so.

“You do not understand, Loki. You do not realize how difficult the decision was. It is my destiny to sit on the throne and rule Asgard. It was never written in any books that it would be my brother that would be the queen. I had to choose the crown, Loki. You need to understand this.” Thor pleads.

Loki snorts derisively, folding his arms across his bare chest.

“All I understand is that you abandoned me. After centuries of proposals and promises and whispered endearments, you lost your courage when it counted. And I do not think I can trust you ever again. Your word is useless to me.” Loki hisses.

Thor shrugs his great shoulders and watches Loki blankly.

“I shall not beg. I love you more than life, Loki. If you asked me to throw myself from this tower I would do so. I would do anything to once again hold your trust. I would-”

“Leave Asgard.” Loki says quickly.

Thor frowns and stares at the dark-haired god confusedly. 

“Pardon?”

Loki smiles slowly.

“You heard. Abandon the crown, leave Odin without a king and come with me to Alfheim. We have allies there that would happily rehome the princes of Asgard.” Loki says lightly.

Thor drops his gaze and bites his lip thoughtfully.

“Is this what it will always come down to? You or the crown?” he demands.

Loki nods.

“Yes. Unless you give me the crown. Dispose of the warriorress and make me queen.” Loki states simply, his gaze cool and level.

Thor sighs unhappily and purses his lips.

“Midgard has hardened you.” He points out.

Loki chuckles darkly, tossing his hair over his shoulder as he saunters over to Thor.

“No, my darling, you have hardened me.”

Xox

Natasha sits with Steve, a huge carton of ice-cream sitting between them. Steve picks at the frozen treat half-heartedly, unable to keep the frown from his face. Tony watches them with a small smile as he slurps on his own ice-cream. The room is oddly silent and Steve can feel each of the Avengers eyes on him, boring into his back. He knows that they’re waiting for him to say something or maybe even cry. He knows they want him to react but he can’t. Steve feels numb. He had known that this day would come, that the other god would come along and take back what was his. But the soldier had let himself believe that maybe this time, just this one time, that he’d have someone to call his own. He had hoped against all hopes that Loki would turn away from the beautiful God of Thunder and choose Steve.

“I’m pathetic.” Steve finally sighs.

Tony nods in agreement.

“You are. But by the looks of that hunky God of Terrifying Thunderstorms that’s a standard side-effect of wanting to bone the Prince of Pert Ass-Cheeks.” He says with a smirk.

Clint shakes his head and glares at Tony.

“You know, I was wondering how long it would take you to comment. You didn’t take your eyes off his ass once when we were in that room!” he snaps.

Natasha laughs and leans closer to Clint, a wicked smile on her face.

“I don’t know why you’d look at his ass. He’s got a pretty impressive disco-stick.” She teases.

Banner rolls his eyes and Steve blushes, shovelling a large spoonful of the brownie ice-cream in his mouth. Tony laughs in delight and winks at Natasha.

“Good girl. I knew you’d know where to look.”

“Stop.” Steve mumbles through his mouthful of frozen goodness. “Let’s talk about something else.”

“How about Thor?” Tony offers. “Has anyone actually ever seen arms that size before?” 

Clint squints at Tony and shakes his head.

“Sometimes I am 100% sure that you are gay.”

Xox

Thor gasps in surprise as Loki sits astride him, still completely naked. He quickly removes the amulet around his neck and practically groans as his azure skin begins to cover his body once again. Thor automatically places his hands on Loki’s hips as the Jotun throws his head back, his long hair flowing down his back like some sort of black waterfall. Thor rubs his thumbs on either side of Loki’s swollen stomach and cannot help but smile when he feels two little hearts beating. He looks up at Loki who is watching him with a guarded expression.

“You have heart.” He says quietly.

Thor is about to reply when Loki silences him with a kiss. Thor’s eyes flutter shut as he pushes into the kiss hungrily. Loki tangles his long, blue fingers in Thor’s hair and pulls his head back sharply, breaking the kiss. Thor’s eyes open as he stares into his ruby eyes, panting slightly.

“Did you lay with her? Did you fuck her?” He snarls.

Thor shakes his head violently.

“She is untouched.”

Loki raises an eyebrow and hovers his mouth of Thor’s, his breath hot against his wet lips.

“You would not lie to me?” he questions.

Thor tries to push their mouths together but Loki tilts his head back slightly.

“You would not dare try and deceive me?” Loki urges, his eyes narrowed.

“Never.” Thor promises.

Loki crashes their mouths together once more, his tongue warring with Thor’s. The kiss is hot and heated and Thor can feel his long neglected arousal reawakening. He presses Loki closer to him until he is flush against his chest. He can hear Loki’s groan and it is a sound that is almost like music to his ears. Thor pulls away and quickly begins to bite and suck on Loki’s dark collarbone. Loki’s head falls backwards as he opens his mouth silently, his pale lips wet and swollen. Thor can feel Loki’s hard member against his stomach and he reaches down between them to grasp his length. Loki moans softly as Thor begins to stroke him slowly, his pupils almost blown with lust.

“You never touched her like this?” Loki pants.

Thor shook his head as he rolled to the side, carefully pinning Loki beneath him.

“I never held her as I have held you.” He breathes.

Loki groans loudly and scrabbles at the front of Thor’s armour desperately. 

“Remove it!” He demands. “Remove it all!”

Thor does as he is told and soon enough his is naked, his own arousal apparent. Loki smirks up at him with half-lidded eyes.

“You have not touched another since I left?” he whispers.

Thor leans down to catch Loki’s lips between his own and kisses him deeply. When he pulls away he smiles at Loki dirtily.

“I have only taken myself in hand and thought of you, my beautiful prince.”

Loki nips at Thor’s lips, unsmiling.

“You are an oaf.” He mutters as he reaches down and takes Thor’s hardened member in his cool hands.

Thor stifles a groan as Loki begins to stroke him firmly. He drops his forehead against Loki’s and pants into his open mouth hotly. He slips his own fingers into Loki’s hot entrance and is surprised when he finds the hole is already slick. He pushes two fingers in with ease and frowns as he remembers. 

“The soldier had prepared you already? Or he has spent himself inside you.” Thor growls.

Loki raises an eyebrow archly and does not reply. Thor snarls and slaps Loki’s hand away from his erection. He takes himself in hand and positions himself at Loki’s entrance. He slides in with one almighty thrust and smirks when he watches Loki’s mouth fall open and his eyes shutter closed.

“No one has the right to touch you like this, only I.” He barks as he begins to move with such force that Loki almost shouts.

“I told you.” Loki groans. “You have lost that right.”

Thor chuckles and continues to slam into Loki relentlessly, loving the feeling of Loki’s hole tightening around him. He leans forward and kisses Loki’s stomach, causing the blue god to squirm in pleasure.

“Tell me that you did not let him touch you like this.” Thor demands as he feels his orgasm building.

Loki arches his back and begins to stroke himself quickly. Thor goes to move his hand but Loki snarls at him.

“Do not.” He warns.

Thor raises his eyebrows but continues to pound Loki. It does not take long for Loki to finish, spilling himself between them. Thor groans as he listens to Loki moan and he quickens his pace until he too is finished and spent.

“The soldier could not touch you like this.” Thor pants smugly.

He collapses on top of Loki, beyond satisfied with himself until Loki pushes at his chest.

“Get off.” He sneers.

Thor does as he is told and turns to smile at Loki. His smile falters however when he sees Loki glaring at him.

“What is wrong?” Thor demands.

“You think that fucking me makes everything better?” Loki hisses. “You think that you may have me as you please? You think that sating my carnal desires will put an end to this?”

Thor stays silent, watching Loki reproachfully. Loki laughs humourlessly and sits up at the edge of the bed.

“You are a fool, Thor.”

Xox

Heimdall and turns to Odin.

“I can see him now.” He mutters. “He is in Midgard.”

“And Thor?” Frigga demands.

Heimdall nods.

“He is with him.”

Frigga beams at Odin who in turn smiles softly at his wife.

“There is hope then?” She asks.

Heimdall twists his lips unsurely and shrugs his great shoulders.

“I do not know, my Lady. Loki is not happy.”

xox

Thor watches Loki dress and clenches his fist in a bid to stop himself from reaching out and touching the beautiful being before him. They have not spoken in what feels like an eternity. Thor does not know how he can right all his wrongs. He has hurt Loki, he knows this. He’s upset the slighter god to such a degree that forgiveness does not seem like a realistic outcome. There is a hardness in Loki’s eyes that Thor has never seen before. His brother has always seemed soft and merciful. Not now. Now there is something pinched about his brother’s angular face. He does not look well. It’s clear that the pregnancy is taking its toll on the God of Mischief. 

Thor sighs.

“Do you love him?” he asks softly.

“Do you love her?” Loki counters.

Thor looks up at his brother with wide eyes and such an open expression that it makes Loki’s chest ache.

“Nay. I never loved her the way I love you.” He swears.

Loki swallows thickly, trying to ignore the lump forming in his throat.

“Then why did you let me go?” he challenges.

Thor makes a frustrated sound and looks at Loki exasperatedly.

“Because I was a coward! Because I could not bear the thought of not being king! All my life had been building towards that moment and I did not want to let it pass me by!” he exclaims.

Loki raises an eyebrow and watches Thor with disinterest.

“But you would risk losing me and your children? All for the sake of being king?”

Thor shakes his head miserably.

“I didn’t think you would leave.” He says pathetically.

Loki turns his head away and glares out the window, unable to believe it.

“You took me for granted.” Loki mutters.

Thor nods.

“I did.”

“You thought that I would remain by your side no matter what, as if being gifted by your presence every now and then would be enough. You would fuck me in secret and then you would climb into bed beside her and pretend that everything was fine. You are selfish, Thor. You wished to have your cake and eat it and leave me with nothing.” Loki snaps.

Thor twists his lips unhappily and looks up at Loki pleadingly.

“I will give you anything, Loki, whatever your heart desires to have you come home with me.” Thor says softly.

Loki sniffs disdainfully and watches Thor with hardened eyes.

“I want Sif’s throne. I want that woman gotten rid of and then I want you to understand that if you ever try and cast me aside again that I will end you.” He hisses, his red eyes sparkling dangerously. “Know that if you betray me, I will kill you.”

Xox

The Avengers all look up when a very blue, very unhappy Loki steps into the room, followed by an equally unhappy Thor. They all eye Loki in amazement as they take in his ridged, cobalt skin and his long, dark hair. His dark blue skin stands out proudly against the blackness of his silky hair. His eyes were the brightest shade of red and seemed to glitter like diamonds. His lithe form seems stronger as though he was made of the smoothest stone. He watches them all with pursed lips, waiting for them to speak.

“Wow. You look like one of those guys from Avatar.” Clint finally breathes, his eyes wide and impressed.

Steve feels his heart ache even more as he takes in the real Loki, the one he had determinedly hidden from them all. He’s a breath-taking creature in his true form, even more so than the pale-skinned, emerald eyed form he seemed to take at times. He stands before them with nothing but a red sarong-like fabric wrapped around his waist, his pregnant belly on show proudly, his long hair falling well below his shoulders. He is magical and exotic looking and Steve feels an irrational pang of jealousy as he notices the rather large love bite just above his collarbone.

“I want to thank you all for your hospitality.” He announces graciously. “Your kindness shall not be forgotten.”

Tony waves his hand dismissively. 

“It was our pleasure.” He teases. “Maybe one day you can return the favour and we can come visit you guys in your outer-space palace or whatever.”

Thor nods encouragingly.

“Of course, any friend of Loki is a friend of Asgard.” He declares as he snakes one great arm around Loki’s waist.

Loki smiles softly and nods once.

“I would like that. I would also like to speak with Steve in private.” He decides, gently pushing Thor’s arm aside.

Tony doesn’t miss the dark look that passes between the two Gods, Thor obviously angry with Loki’s announcement. Steve rises from the couch and follows Loki out of the room, mesmerized by the shimmer of his dark hair as he moves. Loki stops a few feet away from the living room door, aware of the fact that Thor does not have much patience left.

“You look good like this.” Steve says with a small smile. “Healthier.”

Loki bows his head in thanks and reaches for Steve’s hand. He entwines their fingers together and Steve gasps at Loki’s cool touch.

“I wish to apologize and to thank you. For everything.” Loki whispers.

Steve shrugs and smiles crookedly.

“Guess it’s too late for me to try and talk you out of leaving?” he jokes.

Loki bites his bottom lip and smiles.

“I think so.”

Steve clears his throat and watches Loki sadly.

“For the record, I really do love you.” He says quietly.

Loki nods.

“I know. But I could never love you, Steve, not when my heart has been his for centuries.” He says gently.

Steve laughs softly and pulls Loki in for a hug. He wraps his arms around his slender shoulders and drops a kiss to the top of his head.

“You sure you’re doing the right thing?” he breathes against Loki’s ear, hoping Thor couldn’t hear them.

Loki squeezes him reassuringly and Steve can feel him nod beside him.

“Yes.” He whispers.

“Enough.” 

Loki and Steve break their embrace and turn to face Thor. The God of Thunder frowns and holds out his hand.

“Come, Loki.” He orders.

Steve sees the way Loki stiffens as he approaches the other God, snarling something under his breath that he can’t quite catch. Thor wraps his arm possessively around Loki’s bare shoulders and nods at Steve.

“Thank you for caring for him.” He says graciously although Steve can see him gritting his teeth.

Steve salutes them and smiles.

“No problem.”

xox

Laufey rises from his seat slowly as he watches two figures approach them. Helbindi follows suit and smirks when he notices the king of Asgard practically dragging Loki throw the frosty field.

“He does not come willingly.” He chuckles.

Laufey fails to see the humour in Loki being held against his will.

“Asgard’s king is a fool.” He snarls as begins to stride towards the two.

He reaches them in no time, his long legs covering nearly twice the amount theirs do. When he first lays eyes on Loki his immediately sees his dead mate. It shocks Laufey slightly and he takes a step back, allowing himself a small moment of quiet before speaking.

“My son.” He says with a small bow.

Loki does not return the courtesy. He stares at Laufey with a mixture of horror and fascination. He shrugs himself out of Thor’s grip and approaches Laufey slowly, not once taking his eyes off his. Laufey almost smiles down at his son when he notices that Loki only just comes to his elbow.

“You do not call me that.” Loki mutters softly. “You do not have the right.”

Laufey frowns and reaches out a hand to stroke the side of his youngest son’s face but Loki jerks his head to the side, an unhappy expression on his face.

“You left me to die.” Loki whispers. “You have not the right to call me your son and nor should you expect it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. I think maybe two, possible three more chapters? It's almost fiiinished!


	12. You're in the Wrong Place Trying to Make it Right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updating! Also sorry for how short this is but please enjoy it anyways!

Loki glares at Thor unhappily as they are led through the icy palace. Laufey and Thor had previously arranged that there would be feast on his return and that they would spend the night. He is furious and each of the Frost Giants and Thor can feel it as they march down one particularly dark corridor. Finally, they reach what could only be described as an ice cave. Loki makes a scoffing sound as he pushes past the guards and enters the room. He looks around at the bare wall and stone bed with one furry pelt. He waits until they are alone before turning on Thor, his lips twisted angrily.

“Is there nothing there left between your head? Have all your brains been placed between your legs?” he snarls, folding his arms across his chest.

Thor raises an eyebrow and regards Loki calmly.

“He said that you would be too tired to travel further and frankly, I agreed with him. You have put your body under enormous strain, Loki. Think of our babies.” Thor points out.

“My babies.” Loki corrects him. “They are mine and mine alone until you prove yourself worthy, Odinsson.”

Thor sighs and turns away from Loki in defeat. He walks to the edge of the cave and looks over his shoulder at his lover.

“Give your father a chance. He has done wrong but he wishes to make it right.” He pleads.

Loki laughs.

“Why is it that all the men in my life do me wrong when they wish to do me right?”

Xxx

Sif smiles as Thor approaches her. He sits beside her and pats her bare knee lightly.

“I cannot thank you enough for this.” He mutters. “There are very few queens that would help their kings find their pregnant lover.”

“Who is also his brother.” Sif adds with a giggle.

Thor gives her a scandalized look that makes her laugh properly, the sound reverberating around the palace.

“Come on, Thor. We are not lovers, we never were. Let us be friends. Let us make jest and laugh the way we used to.” She urges quietly.

Thor gives her an amazed look before placing a kiss on her soft lips, his hands tugging on the ends of her long dark hair. Sif seems surprised at first but happily reciprocates, unable to help but notice that the kiss is so much different from all the others before it.

Xxx

Loki watches on as Thor kisses her. He ignores the aching in his chest and continues to walk towards them, his gaze level and steady, desperately shielding the hurt. As their lips begin to work against each other with more desperation, Loki begins to frown. Thor’s hand goes from her hair to her lower back, pressing her closer against him. He picks up his speed, not noticing the ice dagger that has formed in his hand. He is about to reach them when Fandral tackles him from the side, his hands firm on his wrists as he stops him in his tracks. Thor looks up from the commotion and his eyes widen when he sees Loki staring at him.

“It has taken you long to forget all your sweet promises, my king.” Loki accuses him shakily.

Thor groans and jumps to his feet, taking a step towards Loki.

“I was saying goodbye as you have done with Steve.” He argues.

“I did not kiss him like that!” Loki spits, visibly shaking.

Sif gets to her feet and stands beside Thor, a miserable expression on her face.

“Loki, it was nothing but-”

“Shut it, you mewling quim!” Loki snarls with such venom that Sif takes a step back.

There is then a deafening crack as Thor slaps Loki across the face with such force that he is pushed backwards into Fandrals arms. Loki pauses for a moment, staring at his brother in wonder, his eyes wide and confused. Thor stares at his own hand in shock, frowning as if he could not understand what has happened.

“You brute.” Loki whispers, his ruby red eyes sparkling with tears of hurt and humiliation.

Thor feels numb. He turns to Sif and sees that even she is staring at him with wide eyes. He looks back at Loki who meets his gaze challengingly, his eyes dark with anger.

“I am sorry, brother.” He whispers, taking a step forward.

Loki shakes his head slowly, his brows furrowed. 

“Do not.” He croaks. “Just take me home.”

Xxx

Laufey watches Loki sadly, unable to keep the hurt and upset from his ruby eyes.

“I wish that you would reconsider.” He urges. “There is much to talk about.”

Loki remains silent, keeping his gaze fixed on the warriors of Asgard as they gather their belongings and prepare for the journey home.

“You are my son, Loki. I wish to make things right once more.” He says quietly.

Loki walks away, marching down the steps to the throne, one hand resting on the rather large swell of his stomach. He makes his way to Thor, barely able to conceal his disgust as he eyes him warily.

“I want to go now.” He snaps.

Thor finishes with the fastenings of his satchel and nods at Loki eagerly, slipping his hand into his

“Yes, we are ready to leave, I am just about to thank your father-”

“He is not my father!” Loki shrieks, jerking his hand free. “And you are nothing so stop laying your hands on me!”

Thor’s cheeks burn furiously as the warriors fall silent, looking anywhere but at their king and his brother. Thor clears his throat and nods once.

“As you wish.” He says stiffly before making his way to Laufey.

Loki crosses his arms in a bid to hide his shaking hands. Fandral catches his gaze and offers him a small smile. Loki all but hisses at him. 

“For the sake of your children, I ask that you calm down.” Sif whispers softly. “You do not look well, my prince.”

Xxx

The return to Asgard is not one of celebration. The people of the realm watch Loki reproachfully, each and every person almost cursing the return of the Frost Giant. As they climb the steps of the palace, Loki feels as if a thousand daggers are being thrown at his back, such is the strength of their stares. They walk to the throne room and Loki feels his stomach turn with each step. When he enters and sees both Frigga and Odin waiting for him, for their return, he very nearly vomits.

“Oh, Loki!” Frigga gasps when she lays eyes on him.

She goes to touch him but Loki deflects it easily with one of his magical shields. 

“Do not touch me.” He says quietly. “I wish only to go to my rooms and sleep.”

Frigga looks as if she is about to complain when Odin nods.

“Of course. You must be exhausted.” He agrees. 

Loki catches his eye for a moment and he can see the remorse shining through Odin; a rare sight indeed. Loki bows slightly before waddling past them, ignoring the dull pain in his lower back as he does so. He counts to ten exactly before he hears Thor’s footsteps following him.

“I wish to be alone now.” He calls over his shoulder.

Thor snorts.

“I have allowed you to wallow for long enough, Loki. It is time we talked.” He insists.

Loki waves his bedroom door open and steps inside. He sniffs when he notices that it has remained exactly as he left it. 

“The last time we spoke, Thor, you slapped me.” Loki declares as his chamber door locks behind him. “For the sake of our children I would rather that did not occur again.”

Thor makes a growling sound and begins to strip himself of his armour.

“It was an accident, Loki. I knew not what I was doing!” he snaps.

Loki tugs at his tunic and takes it off over his head, revealing his swollen stomach. Thor’s breath catches once again as he looks at his lovers changed body.

“Do not stare.” Loki warns. “It is most rude.”

“You are beautiful.” Thor breathes, now shirtless and making his way towards Loki. “The most beautiful being.”

Loki raises his eyebrows.

“And you are a fool to think that such words could sway me.” He drawls. “I care not for your compliments.”

Thor rests his hand against Loki’s bump and smiles slowly as he feels the twins squirm beneath his touch.

“You cannot deny their love for me. Nor yours.”

Loki tilts his chin defiantly and presses his lips together unhappily.

“You cannot keep using my love for you as leverage for forgiveness.”

Thor drops a quick kiss to his lips and smiles sweetly.

"I would forgive you, you know it, brother."

Loki shakes his head and pushes Thor's hand away sadly.

"No you would not. You would stop my heart with Mjolnir and hang me before all of Asgard in a bid to restore your honour."


End file.
